Whaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

"YOU DIDN'T INCLUDE MY THING THAT WAS AWESOME THAT EVERYONE WAS GOING TO LOVE BECAUSE IT'S SO GREAT"

"uh, ok, how 'bout doing it in February?"

"IT WON'T BE READY"

ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhkaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay

You deserve to be happy and successful

But you, motherfucker, have not earned it.

This is a theme for me when I found one of my useless male friends trying to date one of my awesome female friends.

And I said the following things in rapid succession:

1. He doesn't deserve her
2. He does deserve to be happy
3. She would make him happy
4. He would make her unhappy
5. Given enough time, she could fix his uselessness
6. Fixing his uselessness is not her job
7. A woman kicking his ass may be the only thing that ever could fix his uselessness
8. Maybe then he doesn't get his uselessness fixed
9. So he may never deserve her

Huh.  Writing it down helped a lot with clarifying this.  

Fix yourself before you ask anyone else to fix you. Unless that person is a therapist, and you are paying them.  

Another week is thundering by!

A week of LOTS to do, but little completed.

The Peanuts were the worst on Sunday that they have ever been, which sorta ruined my quest for serenity, but that's ok, there's lots of time left.

The playhouse I want to build for them is coming along nicely, and will be done in time to be a storage shed for winter, which is nice!  It will have a nice door.  And big windows. This, anyway, is the plan.

It will also have a green roof, and in a few years, a climbing wall so that they can climb up onto the roof. and sit on it.

Patience building is working!

My work to get better at being patient is continuing very well!

This is good for everyone :D

It's not like I get violent; I'd just like to be serene, you know?

Untitled?

Uh....I got nothing!

So, um, here's nothing!

Kids are well, they get up every morning at about 6 am... simultaneously, and instantly.  Peanut #1 had a big nightmare, so I was bunked in with her and was able to witness the awakening of the children.  Peanut #2 goes from completely asleep to awake and ready to play in about the time it takes to count slowly to 15.

The house is coming along, a little bit all the time.  I do want to get their playhouse built this summer still, but that is going to take some coordination to pull off.  And by coordination, I mean recruiting my mom to babysit.

I did get my fountain built but I want to redo it... because I'm never satisfied with something the first time.

Winter plans include my master bedroom wall repaint and retile, and finish off and trim in the basement, including the construction of all the infrastructure to make it a main entry way into the house (as in through the side door)

Parenting woes

My dedication to parenting patience took a blow this week with 3 days of solo-ing.
Day 1: Terrible
Day 2: Perfect
Day 3: Terrible so far.

Not entirely sure what to do about it, if it's a systemic problem I don't know why.  It just seems like Peanut #1 has to have a tantrum in the mornings no matter what we do.

I"m going to try not pushing for breakfast.  I try and get them downstairs and into the chairs to eat first thing, and maybe that's a bad plan.  Maybe I'll try a more... cuddly approach?

My sister also suggests letting her pick her own clothes for the next day, which is a pretty good idea too.., ah well, food for thunks

So impatient

I am working on increasing my patience.  It's hard!

I foudn a good series of pieces of advice, and the most valuable two are:

1) Anger is biologically addictive.  That's good to know!

2) Self-talk, and talking through the problem, totally work.
So basically I sound like this guy all the time:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vPN4XjrwD78