Banking and winter and... Germany!

I fixed all my banking today. Sigh.
I actually have very few expenses, because I don't own a car. I don't say I have small expenses, I just don't have many. No car insurance, no registration, no car payments.

And it's winter. Very very winter. And I haven't biked in a week, which saddens me.

But soon SWDNYHABN and I are off to Germany for two weeks! SO MUCH FUN!

TIME TRAVEL BY JOVE!

PATRON WANTED: I am seekinge a patron to sponsor me in the development of a time travel device, a mechanism if you will. The purpose of this device will be to enable myself to travel BACK IN TIME to a period approximately eight years ago, and punch myself in the gob.

THE PURPOSE thereof is to perhaps instill in my younger self a bit of a sense of humility and an understanding that despite my impression at the time, I was not nearly as brilliant as I thought, and that perhaps being sliiiiightly less satisfied with myself would prevent future turmoil.

PERHAPS THEN I would have talked half as much at half as many people half as loudly about half as many things half as certainly. I calculate that this would create a reduction of at least 24% in moments that would cause me to cringe in the future.

Excelsior!

The shades of night were falling fast,
As through an Alpine village passed
A youth, who bore, ‘mid snow and ice,
A banner with the strange device,
Excelsior!

They said "pop up the mountain, Charlie
It's lovely up there.
It's an easy walk and you'll love the view,
And then we'll have a party for you"
Excelsior!

And as he climbed, they said, "Hey Chuck,
As soon as you get to the top
There'll be a big party and such"
And then they heard him shout:
Excelsior!

"Oh dear," they said, "you didn't see
You climbed the hill too slowlily
You should have known that from the start
Your climbing wasn't worth a fart"
Excelsior!

How dare you mock by climbing slow
Over the rocky slopes of snow
We are so angry you would try
Now go away, you make us cry
Excelsior!

There in the twilight cold and gray,
Tired, but very cold he lay,
And from the sky, serene and far,
A voice fell, like a falling star,
Excelsior!

A series of very small thoughts

Goldarned phony-baloney intellectualists, mistaking snarkiness for wit, and rudeness for frankness.

I have been given some amazing things in my life. I'm lucky that I didn't have to earn them first. Doesn't mean I don't have to earn them though.

I am saving lots of money by taking lunches, and by buying two really good beers for SWDNYHABN rather than 6 ok ones.

It's really cold. And my bike is in terrible shape as a result. I wish I could put it in my garage. SOON I DESPERATELY HOPE.

Calories

So an average Canadian is 1.48 metres tall with a BMI of 25.
So that person is 57 Kilos.
And needs to lose... 4 kilos.
Alright, so our average Canadian needs to burn... 30,836 calories.

This overweightness is estimated to cost us, um, holy crap, 4,300,000,000. There are 30,000,000 average canadians, so, that's um, 143$ a person.

Dang, that's not much money.

Now, how can we burn 30,000 calories?

I'm going to take cycling as activity #1. Cycling burns 450 calories an hour, so after 66 hours of cycling, calories are burned. One more hour of cycling once a week in the summer over 3 years.

Example #2 is more interesting: 234 hours of climbing stairs. Say you go to work, and you take the elevator up one floor. If you walk the stairs, in and out, 5 days a week, that's, um, 10 trips, 30 seconds each trip, 10 minutes a week, 520 minutes a year which is 8.6 hours, you'll burn all those calories in... 27 years.

Damn.  I though we could afford and justify this:

EDIT: Ok, so that's 30,000 calories per person, 30,000,000 of us, that's, um, 900,000,000,000 calories, at a cost of $4,300,000,000, so that's 900,000 to $4,300, so 9,000 to $43 (round up for easy math to $45), so it's 1,000 calories need to burned at a cost of $5, or 200 calories burned for a dollar. Every dollar we spend on fitness programming needs to burn more than 200 calories. Huh