29.8.08
28.8.08
Money pondering again
So I said:
1) New vacuum cleaner that CR may be able to help with - Soon
2) New bike - August
3) Big grocery purchase - September
4) New hot water tank - October
5) Christmas presents - November
And so far I have:
1) and 5) (mostly)
And don't have:
2), 3), 4)
HOWEVER:
CREDIT CARD DEBT = ZERO ZERO ZERO ZERO POINT ZERO ZERO ZERO
LINE OF CREDIT = $3,600 (down from $53,000) Really.
Let's express that in graphical form:
Here's the word 'debt' 53 times: debtdebtdebtdebtdebtdebtdebtdebtdebtdebtdebtdebtdebtdebtdebtdebtdebtdebtdebtdebtdebtdebtdebtdebtdebtdebtdebtdebtdebtdebtdebtdebtdebtdebtdebtdebtdebtdebtdebtdebtdebtdebtdebtdebtdebtdebtdebtdebtdebtdebtdebtdebtdebt
Here's the word 'debt' 3.6 times:
debtdebtdebtdeb
That's how I spell relief!
Income is, 3800 a month, mortgage is 1800 of that, leaves 2K for insurance, food, utilities, savings, paying down the LOC, ale and whores.
And maybe, you know, a bike, a hot water tank and a year's supply of staples.
Update: I have, having paid off the credit card, now redeemed the points on it for $500 cash-back... hello hot water tank!
1) New vacuum cleaner that CR may be able to help with - Soon
2) New bike - August
3) Big grocery purchase - September
4) New hot water tank - October
5) Christmas presents - November
And so far I have:
1) and 5) (mostly)
And don't have:
2), 3), 4)
HOWEVER:
CREDIT CARD DEBT = ZERO ZERO ZERO ZERO POINT ZERO ZERO ZERO
LINE OF CREDIT = $3,600 (down from $53,000) Really.
Let's express that in graphical form:
Here's the word 'debt' 53 times: debtdebtdebtdebtdebtdebtdebtdebtdebtdebtdebtdebtdebtdebtdebtdebtdebtdebtdebtdebtdebtdebtdebtdebtdebtdebtdebtdebtdebtdebtdebtdebtdebtdebtdebtdebtdebtdebtdebtdebtdebtdebtdebtdebtdebtdebtdebtdebtdebtdebtdebtdebtdebt
Here's the word 'debt' 3.6 times:
debtdebtdebtdeb
That's how I spell relief!
Income is, 3800 a month, mortgage is 1800 of that, leaves 2K for insurance, food, utilities, savings, paying down the LOC, ale and whores.
And maybe, you know, a bike, a hot water tank and a year's supply of staples.
Update: I have, having paid off the credit card, now redeemed the points on it for $500 cash-back... hello hot water tank!
25.8.08
Single source of future
"Why now, why not two years ago?"
An excellent question that goads from time to time.
Is it that I no longer need to pass through a litany of examinations, interrogations and expectations before I begin? No, because that would imply that the examinations, interrogations and expectations no longer exist. They do still exist, albeit internally.
Is it that I have now the time? No, because the day remains 24 hours long, my workday remains 8 hours long, and in fact a run to the hardware store now takes 45 minutes as opposed to 20, and there's no one behind me to pick up the slack.
Is it that I can work now for up to 10 hours a day without interruption? This may be more relevant, as I am no longer made to feel guilty for my physical tolerance for brute labour. However, life could have been structured to accommodate this had I known about the disparity in advance.
Is it that I now have more knowledge? No, that is definitely not it, as the 'hockey-stick fence' will mutely testify. (PS. There are three dimensions and this I will remember for next time)
I conjectured on a few other causes (insanity, divine grace, drop in lumber prices (HA!)) until I hit upon:
Single Vision: I, and only I, know how it will look. There is no negotiation, no need to explain the final product, no need to consult on colours, styles and materials. There is only my vision of the end-result, transcribed to paper in a materials list, transmaterialed (my word!) to product through power tools and then... photographed for Facebook.
Looking at that phenomenon in reverse, it occurs to me that one of the primary causes that may be blamed for my current predicament is the lack of a shared vision.
Without a consistent vision, it is impossible to work for a solution, so no work occurs. This is as true for the metaphysical as for the physical.
We had a lot of visions of the future, don't get me wrong, but never a vision. Or when we did, the vision was ephemeral and fleeting, and replaced soon by a new vision.
An excellent question that goads from time to time.
Is it that I no longer need to pass through a litany of examinations, interrogations and expectations before I begin? No, because that would imply that the examinations, interrogations and expectations no longer exist. They do still exist, albeit internally.
Is it that I have now the time? No, because the day remains 24 hours long, my workday remains 8 hours long, and in fact a run to the hardware store now takes 45 minutes as opposed to 20, and there's no one behind me to pick up the slack.
Is it that I can work now for up to 10 hours a day without interruption? This may be more relevant, as I am no longer made to feel guilty for my physical tolerance for brute labour. However, life could have been structured to accommodate this had I known about the disparity in advance.
Is it that I now have more knowledge? No, that is definitely not it, as the 'hockey-stick fence' will mutely testify. (PS. There are three dimensions and this I will remember for next time)
I conjectured on a few other causes (insanity, divine grace, drop in lumber prices (HA!)) until I hit upon:
Single Vision: I, and only I, know how it will look. There is no negotiation, no need to explain the final product, no need to consult on colours, styles and materials. There is only my vision of the end-result, transcribed to paper in a materials list, transmaterialed (my word!) to product through power tools and then... photographed for Facebook.
Looking at that phenomenon in reverse, it occurs to me that one of the primary causes that may be blamed for my current predicament is the lack of a shared vision.
Without a consistent vision, it is impossible to work for a solution, so no work occurs. This is as true for the metaphysical as for the physical.
We had a lot of visions of the future, don't get me wrong, but never a vision. Or when we did, the vision was ephemeral and fleeting, and replaced soon by a new vision.
21.8.08
Work madness...
It's a bit weird around The Office these days.
Deputy #1 is trying to get the whole ship turned to his way of thinking. He is in charge. People will get fired before this is done. Again.
Consultant #1 is keeping his head down and being very quiet and working along.
Director #1 is trying to keep Manager #1 (his supervisee) from being fired.
Manager #1 is insane. Moon-bat. And seditious and treasonous and a snake in every way. And loves his grandson very much.
Officer #1 is trying to get Manager #1 (not in his chain of command at all) fired by writing to his close friend who we call "The Premier."
Assistant #1 is a gate-keeper to all information and forgets that he is not Deputy #1, but is in fact a secretary. A small but key difference.
Assistant #2 is working slooooooooooooooooooooowly on nothing.
Receptionist #1 does everything he is asked cheerfully and quickly. Sometimes he does it right.
Assistant #3 is working on everything quickly! and well!
inhale...
Assistant #4 thinks the project I am asking him to help with will fail. And is going on vacation for two weeks. "Take three", I say!
Manager#2 has two other jobs and takes weeks away from the office in the mountains in the staff vehicle I share with him. I ride a bike. To meetings.
Director #2 has eight children, one of whom, aged 3, is terminally ill. His mind is not on the job. He also does not want the ship to change direction. If you disagree with him, he will ignore you. Often to your face.
Assistant #5 is very nice. Such a nice person. and... I'm sorry... dumb. Dumb as in "I didn't know clouds turn to rain" dumb. I kid you not.
Coordinator #1 is doing a Certificate in Something, and will take any assigned task and apply it to the Certificate. He also asked to be excused from a project for personal medical reasons and then explained the reasons in inappropriate detail. Eeg
Coordinator #2 likes new ideas, and hates old work. Great guy to start a project with.
Assistant #6 has fled Manager #1's shop, and hates everything, except me. He tells me gossip.
inhale...
Coordinator #7 hates his job. He is fighting with Assistant #1, daily. Sometimes loudly. It's funny 'cause they have the same name.
Director #3 supervises Director #1 (and Manager #1.) and has PTSD from Bosnia.
Our communications staff don't work here, hate all of us, and have a different business plan than we do.
Director #4 quit to go back to Ottawa
Director #5 thinks the whole ship has already turned, and is galloping madly off in a new direction. Alone. And is the supervisor of all the Officers, including Officer #1 who is friends with The Premier.
Director #6 is on his own project, and keeps asking for direction from front-line staff about what the project should be. It's a pan-provincial assessment of over 700 emergency response departments in 350 communities. It's due in two months.
Manager #3 had a shouting match with Manager #4 in front of everyone and has taken up drinking. Seriously. And is Muslim. Really. And threatened to burn the office down. In jest, I think. I really like him.
Manager #4 knows where the ship is, knows where it's pointing. To ensure support from his staff for the new direction... he hired contractors. He outsourced his entire department. Except for...
...Assistant #7, who hate his job, actively hates everyone around him, and has been sent to work for Manager #4's outsourced staff, because no one else can stand to work with him.
inhale...
Officers #2-13 work entirely for Director #5, who, as has been stated, is off on his own. If they died in their offices we wouldn't know for weeks. Some of them may already be dead.
Officers #14-18 don't have a boss. They work for whoever asks them to do things. Mostly they work for themselves. Honestly.
Manager #5, their old boss, quit to go work for everyone that Deputy #1 fired this time last year.
Officer #19 has quit, in his 60s, to go back to the Army to go to Afghanistan and be shot at and mortared and hot and covered in sand because it is less stressful than his job now.
Officer #20 defies description. An ex-alcoholic ex-smoker recovering from a suicide attempt last year who walks faster than I run and whose job, as far as I can tell, has taken on the workload that Officer #19 has dropped in addition to his own job. He will admit that he has no training for his current job and does not understand what some of the words mean. His voice has an edge of panic to it. I really like him, too.
Trainers #1 and #2 are doing the work for trainers #3-4 and work for Manager #1. They are also being slowly driven insane by Manager #1.
Consultant #2 stalks the building like a plague doctor, dispensing dire warnings about not being on the ship. Consultant #2 is very very scary.
I look out the window a lot.
Deputy #1 is trying to get the whole ship turned to his way of thinking. He is in charge. People will get fired before this is done. Again.
Consultant #1 is keeping his head down and being very quiet and working along.
Director #1 is trying to keep Manager #1 (his supervisee) from being fired.
Manager #1 is insane. Moon-bat. And seditious and treasonous and a snake in every way. And loves his grandson very much.
Officer #1 is trying to get Manager #1 (not in his chain of command at all) fired by writing to his close friend who we call "The Premier."
Assistant #1 is a gate-keeper to all information and forgets that he is not Deputy #1, but is in fact a secretary. A small but key difference.
Assistant #2 is working slooooooooooooooooooooowly on nothing.
Receptionist #1 does everything he is asked cheerfully and quickly. Sometimes he does it right.
Assistant #3 is working on everything quickly! and well!
inhale...
Assistant #4 thinks the project I am asking him to help with will fail. And is going on vacation for two weeks. "Take three", I say!
Manager#2 has two other jobs and takes weeks away from the office in the mountains in the staff vehicle I share with him. I ride a bike. To meetings.
Director #2 has eight children, one of whom, aged 3, is terminally ill. His mind is not on the job. He also does not want the ship to change direction. If you disagree with him, he will ignore you. Often to your face.
Assistant #5 is very nice. Such a nice person. and... I'm sorry... dumb. Dumb as in "I didn't know clouds turn to rain" dumb. I kid you not.
Coordinator #1 is doing a Certificate in Something, and will take any assigned task and apply it to the Certificate. He also asked to be excused from a project for personal medical reasons and then explained the reasons in inappropriate detail. Eeg
Coordinator #2 likes new ideas, and hates old work. Great guy to start a project with.
Assistant #6 has fled Manager #1's shop, and hates everything, except me. He tells me gossip.
inhale...
Coordinator #7 hates his job. He is fighting with Assistant #1, daily. Sometimes loudly. It's funny 'cause they have the same name.
Director #3 supervises Director #1 (and Manager #1.) and has PTSD from Bosnia.
Our communications staff don't work here, hate all of us, and have a different business plan than we do.
Director #4 quit to go back to Ottawa
Director #5 thinks the whole ship has already turned, and is galloping madly off in a new direction. Alone. And is the supervisor of all the Officers, including Officer #1 who is friends with The Premier.
Director #6 is on his own project, and keeps asking for direction from front-line staff about what the project should be. It's a pan-provincial assessment of over 700 emergency response departments in 350 communities. It's due in two months.
Manager #3 had a shouting match with Manager #4 in front of everyone and has taken up drinking. Seriously. And is Muslim. Really. And threatened to burn the office down. In jest, I think. I really like him.
Manager #4 knows where the ship is, knows where it's pointing. To ensure support from his staff for the new direction... he hired contractors. He outsourced his entire department. Except for...
...Assistant #7, who hate his job, actively hates everyone around him, and has been sent to work for Manager #4's outsourced staff, because no one else can stand to work with him.
inhale...
Officers #2-13 work entirely for Director #5, who, as has been stated, is off on his own. If they died in their offices we wouldn't know for weeks. Some of them may already be dead.
Officers #14-18 don't have a boss. They work for whoever asks them to do things. Mostly they work for themselves. Honestly.
Manager #5, their old boss, quit to go work for everyone that Deputy #1 fired this time last year.
Officer #19 has quit, in his 60s, to go back to the Army to go to Afghanistan and be shot at and mortared and hot and covered in sand because it is less stressful than his job now.
Officer #20 defies description. An ex-alcoholic ex-smoker recovering from a suicide attempt last year who walks faster than I run and whose job, as far as I can tell, has taken on the workload that Officer #19 has dropped in addition to his own job. He will admit that he has no training for his current job and does not understand what some of the words mean. His voice has an edge of panic to it. I really like him, too.
Trainers #1 and #2 are doing the work for trainers #3-4 and work for Manager #1. They are also being slowly driven insane by Manager #1.
Consultant #2 stalks the building like a plague doctor, dispensing dire warnings about not being on the ship. Consultant #2 is very very scary.
I look out the window a lot.
18.8.08
A rambling sort of a post.
In aid of this post, I am copying the format from Psalm 23.
The LORD is my shepherd, I shall not be in want.
He makes me lie down in nice bed covered in laundry and cats. Also it's really hot, but I seem to be lucky and able to sleep in +22 celcius, which is about what the bedroom is. I sooooo look forward to the end of this particular heat wave.
he leads me beside quiet waters in Lesser Slave Lake, made less quiet by the presence of screaming children, but that's okay too. I am also a complete failure as a fisherman, but I'm pretty good at sitting still.
he restores my soul. He guides me in paths of not having a cigarette in a week (though I suspect I'll have one tonight) for his name's sake. I am somewhat sore physically as a result of having put up tin roofing all weekend in the incredible heat
Even though I bike through the downtown area, I think I am safer and faster than any car. I'm also finding that I go about 8-9 mph on the bike and can get anywhere I need to, including to the big-box stores on the periphery of the city, pretty easily.
I will fear no evil, for you are with me; your rod and your staff, they comfort me.
I should prepare a table before me in the presence of a week with no groceries, so I will go the Safeway after work and get some food. I hope burgers will suffice for tonight's repast!
I anoint my head with home-made shampoo; my cup is empty, so hopefully tomorrow I will make some more.
Surely goodness and love will follow me all the days of my life, and I will dwell in Isambard for some time, particularly after I get the balcony finished and the fence built, which are my remaining summer tasks. I also need a new tupperware for holding the millet for the sparrows (greedy buggers that they are).
The LORD is my shepherd, I shall not be in want.
He makes me lie down in nice bed covered in laundry and cats. Also it's really hot, but I seem to be lucky and able to sleep in +22 celcius, which is about what the bedroom is. I sooooo look forward to the end of this particular heat wave.
he leads me beside quiet waters in Lesser Slave Lake, made less quiet by the presence of screaming children, but that's okay too. I am also a complete failure as a fisherman, but I'm pretty good at sitting still.
he restores my soul. He guides me in paths of not having a cigarette in a week (though I suspect I'll have one tonight) for his name's sake. I am somewhat sore physically as a result of having put up tin roofing all weekend in the incredible heat
Even though I bike through the downtown area, I think I am safer and faster than any car. I'm also finding that I go about 8-9 mph on the bike and can get anywhere I need to, including to the big-box stores on the periphery of the city, pretty easily.
I will fear no evil, for you are with me; your rod and your staff, they comfort me.
I should prepare a table before me in the presence of a week with no groceries, so I will go the Safeway after work and get some food. I hope burgers will suffice for tonight's repast!
I anoint my head with home-made shampoo; my cup is empty, so hopefully tomorrow I will make some more.
Surely goodness and love will follow me all the days of my life, and I will dwell in Isambard for some time, particularly after I get the balcony finished and the fence built, which are my remaining summer tasks. I also need a new tupperware for holding the millet for the sparrows (greedy buggers that they are).
6.8.08
5.8.08
Shore leave
Well. On Saturday, against the advice of harbour officials and immigration lawyers, I snuck onto an island,.
Was it a good idea? No.
Was it a good time? Yes.
The locals were very friendly and warm, even though when I told them where I was from they knew the tragic story of my island torn apart by civil war.
They fed me, they gave me strong wine to drink, and invited me into their temple for a service. Very nice community, all things considered.
With a lightened heart and a full belly I snuck back out to sea and onto my raft.
bob, drift, bob, drift.
Was it a good idea? No.
Was it a good time? Yes.
The locals were very friendly and warm, even though when I told them where I was from they knew the tragic story of my island torn apart by civil war.
They fed me, they gave me strong wine to drink, and invited me into their temple for a service. Very nice community, all things considered.
With a lightened heart and a full belly I snuck back out to sea and onto my raft.
bob, drift, bob, drift.
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