Work madness...

It's a bit weird around The Office these days.

Deputy #1 is trying to get the whole ship turned to his way of thinking. He is in charge. People will get fired before this is done. Again.
Consultant #1 is keeping his head down and being very quiet and working along.
Director #1 is trying to keep Manager #1 (his supervisee) from being fired.
Manager #1 is insane. Moon-bat. And seditious and treasonous and a snake in every way. And loves his grandson very much.
Officer #1 is trying to get Manager #1 (not in his chain of command at all) fired by writing to his close friend who we call "The Premier."
Assistant #1 is a gate-keeper to all information and forgets that he is not Deputy #1, but is in fact a secretary. A small but key difference.
Assistant #2 is working slooooooooooooooooooooowly on nothing.
Receptionist #1 does everything he is asked cheerfully and quickly. Sometimes he does it right.
Assistant #3 is working on everything quickly! and well!

inhale...

Assistant #4 thinks the project I am asking him to help with will fail. And is going on vacation for two weeks. "Take three", I say!
Manager#2 has two other jobs and takes weeks away from the office in the mountains in the staff vehicle I share with him. I ride a bike. To meetings.
Director #2 has eight children, one of whom, aged 3, is terminally ill. His mind is not on the job. He also does not want the ship to change direction. If you disagree with him, he will ignore you. Often to your face.
Assistant #5 is very nice. Such a nice person. and... I'm sorry... dumb. Dumb as in "I didn't know clouds turn to rain" dumb. I kid you not.
Coordinator #1 is doing a Certificate in Something, and will take any assigned task and apply it to the Certificate. He also asked to be excused from a project for personal medical reasons and then explained the reasons in inappropriate detail. Eeg
Coordinator #2 likes new ideas, and hates old work. Great guy to start a project with.
Assistant #6 has fled Manager #1's shop, and hates everything, except me. He tells me gossip.

inhale...

Coordinator #7 hates his job. He is fighting with Assistant #1, daily. Sometimes loudly. It's funny 'cause they have the same name.
Director #3 supervises Director #1 (and Manager #1.) and has PTSD from Bosnia.
Our communications staff don't work here, hate all of us, and have a different business plan than we do.
Director #4 quit to go back to Ottawa
Director #5 thinks the whole ship has already turned, and is galloping madly off in a new direction. Alone. And is the supervisor of all the Officers, including Officer #1 who is friends with The Premier.
Director #6 is on his own project, and keeps asking for direction from front-line staff about what the project should be. It's a pan-provincial assessment of over 700 emergency response departments in 350 communities. It's due in two months.
Manager #3 had a shouting match with Manager #4 in front of everyone and has taken up drinking. Seriously. And is Muslim. Really. And threatened to burn the office down. In jest, I think. I really like him.
Manager #4 knows where the ship is, knows where it's pointing. To ensure support from his staff for the new direction... he hired contractors. He outsourced his entire department. Except for...
...Assistant #7, who hate his job, actively hates everyone around him, and has been sent to work for Manager #4's outsourced staff, because no one else can stand to work with him.

inhale...

Officers #2-13 work entirely for Director #5, who, as has been stated, is off on his own. If they died in their offices we wouldn't know for weeks. Some of them may already be dead.
Officers #14-18 don't have a boss. They work for whoever asks them to do things. Mostly they work for themselves. Honestly.
Manager #5, their old boss, quit to go work for everyone that Deputy #1 fired this time last year.
Officer #19 has quit, in his 60s, to go back to the Army to go to Afghanistan and be shot at and mortared and hot and covered in sand because it is less stressful than his job now.
Officer #20 defies description. An ex-alcoholic ex-smoker recovering from a suicide attempt last year who walks faster than I run and whose job, as far as I can tell, has taken on the workload that Officer #19 has dropped in addition to his own job. He will admit that he has no training for his current job and does not understand what some of the words mean. His voice has an edge of panic to it. I really like him, too.
Trainers #1 and #2 are doing the work for trainers #3-4 and work for Manager #1. They are also being slowly driven insane by Manager #1.
Consultant #2 stalks the building like a plague doctor, dispensing dire warnings about not being on the ship. Consultant #2 is very very scary.

I look out the window a lot.