TIME TRAVEL BY JOVE!

PATRON WANTED: I am seekinge a patron to sponsor me in the development of a time travel device, a mechanism if you will. The purpose of this device will be to enable myself to travel BACK IN TIME to a period approximately eight years ago, and punch myself in the gob.

THE PURPOSE thereof is to perhaps instill in my younger self a bit of a sense of humility and an understanding that despite my impression at the time, I was not nearly as brilliant as I thought, and that perhaps being sliiiiightly less satisfied with myself would prevent future turmoil.

PERHAPS THEN I would have talked half as much at half as many people half as loudly about half as many things half as certainly. I calculate that this would create a reduction of at least 24% in moments that would cause me to cringe in the future.