Renos Ohnoes!

So in the process of de-Kening my main bathroom last night, I did significant damage to the old floor. I am very sad.
I really hope that a) businesses that market hardwood floor repair actually provide it, or b) that I can invent hardwood floor repair.
Also, I have a new source of horror: that moment when you, having removed some floor from your second storey and gone to have a cup of tea, hear THUMP THUMP above your head in the kitchen, and you realize that this THUMP THUMP is exactly what you imagined it would sound like if your cat was exploring your ceiling cavity.

World, Peanut. Peanut, World.

Peanut is very small, only 2.3 cm long.

Moral authority

An external moral authority (MA) is important, because humans who
believe that they are the source of MA are notoriously wrong.

Caveat: the MA cannot be quoted as a justification for actions, only
used as a reminder to constantly question one's actions.

Ok, how am I doing? (hard to concentrate while blogging on the bus).
External MA should be recognised, and internalized.

Otherwise, self is considered the MA, which means actions are moral
across the board.

Is it possible to have an MA that is current? I think not. I think
te MA needs to not be an actor, always an abstract to remain distanced
from any real-world concerns. It's a silent mirror, not an in-person
guide.

Blog ideas.

I have a list of blog ideas. I make little notes to remind me of blog topics. It keeps me organized. For instance, a note that says "4 Horsemen of Entropy" reminds me to blog about Broken Dark and Dirty.

So what the hell did I want to write about when I wrote "Breakfast is coming?"

Age and population.

Givens:
Anyone older than me is old.
Anyone younger than me is young.
I am neither old nor young.

When I was born, the entire world was old. As I age, there can never
be any more people that are old than there were when I was born.

However, as I age, there is an ever increasing number of young
persons. If population stays the same, I slide across aging like a
steel slide over guitar strings, with a steadily growing proportion of
the world that is younger than me.

However, population is not constant, right? The population is
steadily growing, so rather than a gentle slide, I am more like a
finger on a string. Between the moment of my birth and my current
age, there is a geometrically growing chord of youth.

I have a responsibility to people who are young. From the birth of my
little sister, when I was instructed to be nice to her, to the
mentoring I do at work to students, to the inevitable grand patenting
I will have to do, that responsibility is not only present, but
increasing logarithmically. The world is getting younger all the
time.

By extension of this, when I reach the end of my life, when there will
be the fewest old people (not the most), that responsibility will be
the sum of my existence, and the world will be the youngest it has
ever been!

Sitting very still... sweating a little.

Words can barely express how much I would like a cigarette right now. I don't NEED ONE OH MY GOD OR I WILL GO OFF THE DEEP END; it's not that kind of feeling. I just know that nothing right now would feel better than a deep warm throatful of hot smoke.

The funniest part? I also know, contradictorily, that it would taste awful, I would retch and spit, and then I would have to brush my teeth and wash my hands like a Lady MacBeth understudy to try and hide the lingering odour. Would you like to know more?

It has some weird correlation with having accomplished what I set out to do with the evening, and now having nothing else to do.

Oh well, off to find something to do! That isn't smoking.

Quiet night

Had a very nice quiet night tonight with The Project Manager. We watched a little TV, a little movie, and just bummed around. It was extra nice because it was so unexpected; I don't know how we managed this in December.... Every other night except Fridays is booked. The PM is doing very well, but concerned about whether her appearance is changing. I think it's 50% happy that it is because it makes it realer, but also 50% sadness because she feels it is a point of no return. I think she worries that she won't get to be youthful after she's a mom, so I work hard to reassure her. I'm really lucky to have her; I realize this more and more every day. She's gentle but uncompromising (I'm pretty sure she is intimidated by NONE of the male members of my family, and has plans for all of them, and doesn't have any plans for the female members because she is confident they can take care of themselves and may need to be counted on as allies in future discussions with the male members...) Huh. As I type that I realize how true it is. Oh my. She's socked out beside me. She falls asleep in no time these days, and we only got 6 hours of sleep last night as she concluded her Burlesque career (so we were up 'til 2 am and up for church at 8 (yeah, burlesque and church, it's how she rolls)) We watched Knocked Up. It might be terrible, I have no idea, as I was too busy realizing how easy it is to be a giant slacker like the male protagonists. A good film for fathers-to-be, as the dialogue between characters is quite true to life, even if the situations are a bit absurd. Ok, that's that for now; I'm off to sleep!