You can't be in crisis mode all the time
And I think you're addicted to it.
I need you to celebrate. Something. Anything. Look around you and see what other people are celebrating, and celebrate that, if you don't know what to celebrate.
I mean, if misery is your own only comfort, then you need a full brain reset. You're kinda stuck in a loop there, right?
Also, misery may love company, but company does not love misery?