Madness

 Work is totally insane.

SET, UAT, Covid, and funding cuts have meant that we can barely function at all. Like barely function.

It's reached the point where it's funny, in a hysterical-laughter kind of way. Like: we're boned. BONED.

We laid off the people who suck, we have the people who are good, and the people who are struggling. The people who are struggling have been carried by the people who are good, and the people who are good are now the people who are struggling. And there's no one left.

Random thoughts as I putter

1. I'm getting more control over my drinking! I'm not high-risk, I always add, but I'd like to low-risk.

2. I need a better morning care routine than "drink coffee and doomscroll". Something with floss and a moisturizer. 

3. I'm at my lowest weight in a long time

4. I have been stung by a wasp for the first in a long time. I will now do to its nest what the Fascists did to Guernica

5. My kids have a lot of shoes

Existential Dread:

 Hard to fight it these days, but we're gonna be ok.

Can't write more, have to take Peanuts swimming.

Holy Hannah it's July already

 I'd really like our suite to be done soon.

It's framed and windowed, but not electricalled or plumbed yet. It's still a push to get it done for end of August, but maaaaan. SO SLOW.

Brain altering

 

My brain is in pretty good shape. I mean, I'm not at 100%, certainly not by the end of the day, but I do pretty good.

I think the biggest area of improvement for me is in my mood-management: I get grumpy, by default, often.  And I get whiny.

So I'm working on that.  Mostly it involves saying what I don't believe, and then finding out that it's true after all:

PM: "Wanna do X, it'll be fun!"
My brain: "No it won't"
Me: "Sure!"
<30 minutes later>
My brain: "say, that WAS fun!"

And I worry about some folk near and dear to me who seem to have lost the fight against their brains, to their detriment.

We made it!

 Big milestone today, Peanut #1 ended her isolation, so she celebrated by having a fight with Peanut #2.  WE'RE BACK, PEOPLE.

The Peanuts are both on-line schooling right now, and having a great time.

Today I need to make the Project Manager's cake, which will be the Rainbow Owl cake.  I intend to use the Easy-Bake oven for this shizzle, and that could be _hilarious_ especially if we set it on fire, which is a real thing that could happen.

I'm behind at work on a couple of important tasks, that I also need to get done, like, TODAY, so that needs to happen too

Two things going on here

 I am _tired_, like tired a lot. My creativity is zero, my energy for projects is zero and I mostly just want to carb load and sleep. But that's ok. That'll end.

The other thing is that Peanut #1 is in isolation in her room, and the upstairs bathroom, and it's been a good chance for her to show some actual real independence and demonstrate her own self-determinism, of which she is full.