31.10.08
28.10.08
Interesting words from Michael Bader
"As I show both in Arousal: The Secret Logic of Sexual Fantasies, and in my new book, Male Sexuality: Why Women Don't Understand It -- and Men Don't Either, the male libido is neither more powerful than that of women, nor can it be adequately explained through trite generalizations about the cruelty of men under patriarchy. Instead, sexual arousal for both men and women depends on one thing -- the momentary elimination of feelings and beliefs that inhibit it.
Our psyches have to contend with all sorts of threats to sexual excitement. We can't get aroused if we're too guilty about hurting the other, or too worried about him or her. We can't get turned on if we're feeling rejected, inferior, damaged, or helpless. All of us feel these things at some point or another, the mix and intensity of which depend on our particular histories. It turns out, for example, that both male and female desire gets shut down when guilt and worry squelches the capacity for selfishness and aggressiveness. Good and healthy sex requires not only affection and love, but also the capacity to not worry about one's partner, to "let go" with selfish abandon. I've had dozens of men and women who have consulted me about sexual boredom say some version of, "I wish s/he would just throw me on the bed and fuck me!" So-called "lesbian bed-death" often results from just such an inability of the partners to feel selfish, separate, and aggressive enough to "use" each other in a pleasurable way. The sexual ideal of two people lovingly gazing into each other's eyes is belied by powerful needs for something more out-of-control, perhaps forceful, and transgressive. As Woody Allen said: "If sex isn't dirty, you're not doing it right!""
From Alternet
Our psyches have to contend with all sorts of threats to sexual excitement. We can't get aroused if we're too guilty about hurting the other, or too worried about him or her. We can't get turned on if we're feeling rejected, inferior, damaged, or helpless. All of us feel these things at some point or another, the mix and intensity of which depend on our particular histories. It turns out, for example, that both male and female desire gets shut down when guilt and worry squelches the capacity for selfishness and aggressiveness. Good and healthy sex requires not only affection and love, but also the capacity to not worry about one's partner, to "let go" with selfish abandon. I've had dozens of men and women who have consulted me about sexual boredom say some version of, "I wish s/he would just throw me on the bed and fuck me!" So-called "lesbian bed-death" often results from just such an inability of the partners to feel selfish, separate, and aggressive enough to "use" each other in a pleasurable way. The sexual ideal of two people lovingly gazing into each other's eyes is belied by powerful needs for something more out-of-control, perhaps forceful, and transgressive. As Woody Allen said: "If sex isn't dirty, you're not doing it right!""
From Alternet
27.10.08
23.10.08
Why type something twice?
9:47pmJill
is the beer tasty?
9:47pmAdam
sadly.... I"m out
:(:(
9:48pmJill
that is sad. flaw in the plan of relaxing after chores...
there's beer in my fridge...
and I don't actually really know why...
9:48pmAdam
/shakes fist
9:49pmJill
since I've had three beers in my entire life...
9:50pmAdam
well that' swhy you still have some left!
9:50pmJill
but it's not like it's old beer--i've only been here for a couple of months
but i'm fairy sure that it's not *good* beer....
9:52pmAdam
gotcha
9:57pmJill
what was this fabulous chore that let you play with both saws (and not lose a digit)?
9:57pmAdam
It was finishing the little fiddly bits of railing between the spindles in The Boy's railing. I need to find some 1" dowel and then it'll be ready to paint.
That will be awesome
9:59pmJill
a project almost complete...that must be kinda exciting....
9:59pmAdam
Yeah... I had lofty plans to finish the trim inhis room, then misplaced a bunch of teh supplies for it, so that's been delayed until I drag my butt to the Home Depot
9:59pmJill
and The Boy must be excited at the prospect of his room (area) finally being done.
10:00pmAdam
I think so... it's been waaaaay too long
10:00pmJill
I too must venture into one of those scary places. I need a new baseboard in the bathroom and some caulking for mike and then all of the other little piddly stuff that adds up...
how long have you been renovating now?
10:00pmAdam
I cannot wait to be out of debt so that I can start saving up for these big projects and doing them all at once as opposed to doing them indribs and drabs as I can afford it
since 02
10:00pmJill
holy crap that's a long time
what big projects do you have left?
10:03pmAdam
Sending:
ummm... (poo, my cat stinks) Walls and ceiling and flooring in the master bedroom, walls, floor and door in the spare room, door, floor ceiling tub and vanity in the bathroom, railing in the stairwell, walls and trim in the hallway the whole kitchen, wall trim in the front room, the whole back room, shower stall and re-plumb the downstairs bathroom, an above-ground pond, walk-way, bench and arbor in the back yard and put in a new beam.
is the beer tasty?
9:47pmAdam
sadly.... I"m out
:(:(
9:48pmJill
that is sad. flaw in the plan of relaxing after chores...
there's beer in my fridge...
and I don't actually really know why...
9:48pmAdam
/shakes fist
9:49pmJill
since I've had three beers in my entire life...
9:50pmAdam
well that' swhy you still have some left!
9:50pmJill
but it's not like it's old beer--i've only been here for a couple of months
but i'm fairy sure that it's not *good* beer....
9:52pmAdam
gotcha
9:57pmJill
what was this fabulous chore that let you play with both saws (and not lose a digit)?
9:57pmAdam
It was finishing the little fiddly bits of railing between the spindles in The Boy's railing. I need to find some 1" dowel and then it'll be ready to paint.
That will be awesome
9:59pmJill
a project almost complete...that must be kinda exciting....
9:59pmAdam
Yeah... I had lofty plans to finish the trim inhis room, then misplaced a bunch of teh supplies for it, so that's been delayed until I drag my butt to the Home Depot
9:59pmJill
and The Boy must be excited at the prospect of his room (area) finally being done.
10:00pmAdam
I think so... it's been waaaaay too long
10:00pmJill
I too must venture into one of those scary places. I need a new baseboard in the bathroom and some caulking for mike and then all of the other little piddly stuff that adds up...
how long have you been renovating now?
10:00pmAdam
I cannot wait to be out of debt so that I can start saving up for these big projects and doing them all at once as opposed to doing them indribs and drabs as I can afford it
since 02
10:00pmJill
holy crap that's a long time
what big projects do you have left?
10:03pmAdam
Sending:
ummm... (poo, my cat stinks) Walls and ceiling and flooring in the master bedroom, walls, floor and door in the spare room, door, floor ceiling tub and vanity in the bathroom, railing in the stairwell, walls and trim in the hallway the whole kitchen, wall trim in the front room, the whole back room, shower stall and re-plumb the downstairs bathroom, an above-ground pond, walk-way, bench and arbor in the back yard and put in a new beam.
22.10.08
50 years ago tomorrow.
The bump spread as three distinct shock waves, resembling a small earthquake throughout the region, alerting residents on the surface for a wide area to the disaster. Draeger teams and teams of barefaced miners entered the No. 2 colliery to begin the rescue effort. The rescue teams encountered survivors at the 13,400 foot level walking or limping toward the surface. Gas released by the bump was encountered in increasing concentrations at the 13,800 foot level where the ceiling had collapsed and rescuers were forced to work down shafts that were in partial state of collapse or were blocked completely by debris.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Springhill_Mining_Disaster
21.10.08
Avert your eyes, they're taking on other forms!
2 things:
Powell endorsed Obama 'cause he's not a republican, and he feels guilty, and thinks that the republican party should be left-wing.
And US troops support McCain 3-1. In this survey... this unscientific survey...
Powell endorsed Obama 'cause he's not a republican, and he feels guilty, and thinks that the republican party should be left-wing.
And US troops support McCain 3-1. In this survey... this unscientific survey...
20.10.08
My cup runneth over.
My soup is a success. Woot!
My mortgage payments have gone down. Woot woot!!
My cheque for my medical bills came in, which means the second one likely will as well! Woot woot woot!!!
There's a vacancy at work I would be AWESOME at! Woot Woot Woot Woot!!!!
The Boy is here for the night! Woot^2
Pretty much we're doing this around the place.
UPDATE: And it turns out that thanks to the joint benefits that are still in effect... my medical is 100% reimbursed!
Now we're doing this:
My mortgage payments have gone down. Woot woot!!
My cheque for my medical bills came in, which means the second one likely will as well! Woot woot woot!!!
There's a vacancy at work I would be AWESOME at! Woot Woot Woot Woot!!!!
The Boy is here for the night! Woot^2
Pretty much we're doing this around the place.
UPDATE: And it turns out that thanks to the joint benefits that are still in effect... my medical is 100% reimbursed!
Now we're doing this:
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