Ramblings of a covert canine

Sitting very still... sweating a little.

2011-12-13T20:39:00.000-08:00

Words can barely express how much I would like a cigarette right now. I don't NEED ONE OH MY GOD OR I WILL GO OFF THE DEEP END; it's not that kind of feeling. I just know that nothing right now would feel better than a deep warm throatful of hot smoke.

The funniest part? I also know, contradictorily, that it would taste awful, I would retch and spit, and then I would have to brush my teeth and wash my hands like a Lady MacBeth understudy to try and hide the lingering odour. Would you like to know more?

It has some weird correlation with having accomplished what I set out to do with the evening, and now having nothing else to do.

Oh well, off to find something to do! That isn't smoking.

Quiet night

2011-12-11T21:41:00.001-08:00

Had a very nice quiet night tonight with The Project Manager. We watched a little TV, a little movie, and just bummed around. It was extra nice because it was so unexpected; I don't know how we managed this in December.... Every other night except Fridays is booked.The PM is doing very well, but concerned about whether her appearance is changing. I think it's 50% happy that it is because it makes it realer, but also 50% sadness because she feels it is a point of no return. I think she worries that she won't get to be youthful after she's a mom, so I work hard to reassure her. I'm really lucky to have her; I realize this more and more every day. She's gentle but uncompromising (I'm pretty sure she is intimidated by NONE of the male members of my family, and has plans for all of them, and doesn't have any plans for the female members because she is confident they can take care of themselves and may need to be counted on as allies in future discussions with the male members...)Huh. As I type that I realize how true it is. Oh my.She's socked out beside me. She falls asleep in no time these days, and we only got 6 hours of sleep last night as she concluded her Burlesque career (so we were up 'til 2 am and up for church at 8 (yeah, burlesque and church, it's how she rolls))We watched Knocked Up. It might be terrible, I have no idea, as I was too busy realizing how easy it is to be a giant slacker like the male protagonists. A good film for fathers-to-be, as the dialogue between characters is quite true to life, even if the situations are a bit absurd.Ok, that's that for now; I'm off to sleep!

What hath been wrought?

2011-11-24T14:00:00.000-08:00

Hey, you know you're still cool when...

Quiet Sunday...

2011-11-13T20:21:00.001-08:00

I am sitting on the couch, with Pandora.com bringing me terrible terrible pop music streamed entirely legally (as far as it knows) and drinking a cup of tea. The Project Manager is at a Burlesque practice (as they have a show this week) and the cats are re-enacting Wrestlemania XVII on the kitchen floor.What's new since last I wrote? Well, made two major breakthroughs in heating Isambard. One: discovered that the thermostat isn't accurate, which explains a lot. Two: successfully finished all the ducting, so that heat is enjoyed throughout the house.The pregnancy continues very well, except that the PM is experiencing constant, minor, nausea. No puking, but constant unwellness.The garage is cleaned out, and in fact the car has been parked in there a few times, which is pretty damned amazing. I may go out and try and figure out how to install an automatic garage door opener. The PM resists my attempts to upgrade the garage, but I think she is missing the point about how nice it will be to park indoors during the winter, she never having had to park outside during a prairie winter.Cat the Eldest is completely deaf, we realized, or at least so deaf that she no longer comes when called, and also ignore the vacuum cleaner.I feel very well, and as I make more progress on the non-creative stuff, I feel some creative energy coming back into the grey matter, accompanied by a resurgence of workplace organization and a sense that all is well in my skin.

In which....

2011-10-26T12:40:00.000-07:00

...I have too much coffee, and the Project Manager has a cold.

This is actually a recollection of a blog post I wrote last night that
was lost to a non-specific error when I tried to post it.

The PM was asleep beside me, in a fitful fashion, despite the
solicitous attitudes of the Trio Of Idiots, and I was in a
caffeine-induced euphoric state.
I had done some extra work and was reflecting on the peace of mind
that doing the work had created, even though it wasn 't particularly
substantial.

The reflection was basically this: doing a little work before bed,
even a token amount, was more restful than resting.

Booze! Or the lack thereof

2011-10-20T21:03:00.001-07:00

As a result of the you-know-what-wink-wink the Project Manager and I have given up drinking.
Prior to this, we were known to have a social drink or five, and it's been a gradually growing source of worry, so this is a good thing on a few levels.

Here's the weird part: we are both really hungry and really thirsty since. The PM's theory is that a couple of pints a day is pretty close to another meal, and it's a pretty serious dose of fluids.

Whodathunk?

A new chapter dawns!

2011-10-20T08:49:00.000-07:00

So, gentle reader, we have come to a time where I must ask you to keep a secret. Not for long; only until Christmas.

If you are unable to keep a secret, perhaps due to some piece of WWII shrapnel embedded in your frontal lobes, please stop reading now and click this link. It will amuse you.

Are they gone? Is it just us here now? Excellent. Where was I?

Oh yeah! The Project Manager and I are pregnant. Well, teeeeechnically, she is pregnant. I am just proud.

We are due at the end of June, 2012, so we're still in that period where 50% of first pregnancies end (thus it is not a sure thing by any means).

The blood test is done and the results are on their way, the first doctor's appointment is booked for early November (I'm not invited, btw) and all in all things are good.

The Project Manager is alternately freaked out and ecstatic, often within the same sentence. She has always worried about her abilities as a parent, but I have 100% faith that we will be fine.
She's also worried about how our lifestyle will change, but I maintain it will change less than we think. We entertain at home a lot; you can do that with a baby. We both drink beer; you can do that at home (after the baby is born). We both like the theatre; Babysitters can be had.

The plan after the baby's arrival is that The PM will take off a small few months (number TBD) and then I will take parental leave for an appropriate period to cover until formal childcare arrangements can be made. These arrangements will likely include some cobination of Aunts and Uncles, Grandmas, and compressed work weeks.

So how are you?

The problem with parenting

2011-08-26T13:50:00.000-07:00

Is that when your kids make mistakes, you feel as if you made them!

The Boy missed a workshift today because he didn't pay attention to what he was supposed to be doing. So he has no one to blame but himself, and I trust that he knows he made a big mistake, so I'm am fighting the urge to make sure he knows he made a mistake. He KNOWS he did, I don't need to remind him.

Also, it's not really something I can control, can I?

Too busy to breathe

2011-08-22T21:30:00.000-07:00

Hi Blog! Long time no see!

The Project Manager and I are about to move back into Isambard on Thursday, and that will be wonderful. I mean, condo living is ok, but to have a porch, and a basement, and large well-lit rooms... I can't wait.

The Project Manager has been very anxious about the move (as it's her condo that she is leaving) but she is MUCH happier today because... the cleaner has been in and has cleaned, literally, every crevice. For a house that has been vacant for 14 months, she looks pretty good. All is smiley emoticons.

Work is incredibly busy, but I get enough small stuff done that no one notices the big stuff I'm missing. I hope once I'm not spending each moment driving and moving and building, that I will get more done and be more focused.

I've always had a very strong tie to the Place That I Live, and it's neat to see how my brain seems to work better while I'm there. I think that means I'm dumbing as I age.

Mmm, pretty colours.

2011-06-09T15:09:00.001-07:00

I have spent some $ and time over the last two years on my emotional development, etc., and one of the neat parts of this is the comfort and meta-emotion that my emotions cause me.

As an example, I have had a hell of a go-round with Someone, and I was able, at the end of it, to feel and enjoy the goosebumps and endorphin rush that that engendered, and remain somewhat normal while FEELING the anger, as opposed to fleeing away from it.

I think, with a thermal camera, one could have seen the heat coming off me. Heck, it felt like my beard was standing up.

It made the world look all overexposed and white; like there was a huge white LED casting its light everywhere, possibly emanating from inside me.

Plus it helped that the Project Manager was very helpful and said all the right things afterwards. Whether she believed what she said is immaterial; she said to me the things I needed to hear at the time. This is very supportive.

2011-06-09T15:01:00.001-07:00

I had a deep thought...

2011-06-09T10:35:00.000-07:00

... but I've forgotten what it was.

So here's what's going on! The house is coming together slowly, but steadily. There may be paint up on the walls in the master bedroom by the end of the week, and that is VERY exciting!

The Project Manager has decided on white tin tiles for the ceiling, which should be quite good fun to try and install, but it's going to look great, I think.

Once the paint is up, the mopping and cleaning can happen, then the furniture can move into the bedroom (and even be set up!) and then the big work on the stairs can begin.

The Project Manager turns out to be a fine fine drywaller, actually.

Ooh! and we made savoury waffles. They're extraordinary!

In which we have an adventure.

2011-05-29T21:50:00.000-07:00

(Also, SWDNYHABN is now known as The Project Manager)

Yesterday evening The Project Manager and I were walking home from the in-laws and I espy a young man, who shall be referred to as 'Sammy', and he is having a good shout! I think, initially, he is having a good shout at a building, and I'm just getting to mention this hilarity to The Project Manager when I notice his chum, who shall be referred to as 'Louie', emerging from an obscured doorway, having just had himself a pee.

Sammy is on the back veranda of the L--- Mansions, an abandoned heritage building down the block, and Louie is the alley, walking roughly parallel to us towards the veranda. As we catch up to him, he climbs on to the veranda to chat with Sammy, and we notice there is a third character.

A third man, referred to as Willy, is lying down, roughly in the fetal position, between them on the veranda, and I get the feeling that something is not right. I start to slow down to observe this. Now, I have been known from time to time to get involved in things that I should have avoided, and The Project Manager is aware of this, and she does let me know that she's not entirely in favour of me getting involved in this. Anxiety increasing, I think of, and ask, the safest question to ask, which seems to be "Do you need any help?"

Without hesitation, Sammy and Louie announce that in fact Willy does need help, that Willy has thrown up. (In case you're worried, they make no move towards us at all) The Project Manager, eagle-eyed, notices that Willy is in fact bleeding from his nose and somewhere under his hair. I had been wondering whether to call the police in an emergency capacity or in a nuisance-busting one, and this info helps. I decide to escalate this thing to 911.

As I am making sure that 911 knows the whole situation, including the fact that Louie and Sammy are completely hosed, The Project Manager is convincing them that we don't need their help, and if they feel like leaving and not being there when curious people in uniform get there, that'll be just fine thank you, and they leave.

The wee-OOO-wee-OOO-wee-OOO in the distance announce that the uniforms will be here shortly, and 911 signs off with me. In the intervening lull, when it is just The Project Manager, myself, and unconscious Willy, we get a chance to look him over a bit. In fact, he is bleeding heavily, and has bled a great congealous glob of blood onto the concrete of the veranda, and though he is breathing he is not making a great show of it.

First on the scene is the Prairie Metropolis Fire Department, and they are not entirely in the mood to deal with dear passed-out Willy. As one of them guides in the ambulance to where we are, two others leap up onto veranda and banter wittily between each other about what is happening. "Someone is having a nap", one says. "Ha ha ha", says another. This is the kind of wit that keeps you sane in an inner city fire department.

Step one for them is to check if he is just sleeping, which they do by turning his head and looking at him. This is also the first time they get a good look at his face. In a moment, everything changes. All humour disappears, and there is quite a lot of bustling with lights, spinal collars, backboards, and serious faces. Everyone seems very nervous.

There are three paramedics and five firefighters working away on Willy, and they get him strapped and bundled and into the ambulance in about 90 seconds. and they are off and away.

And the Fire Captain, who has been watching this from behind an excellent authoritative mustache, says to The Project Manager and I "if you had not called us, well, you probably saved his life."

So far, judging by the silence on the news, it seems to have been true!

Stories of a genre

2011-05-24T09:57:00.000-07:00

In which small children from a perfectly mundane world experience a magical fantastic story that may or may not be real as well.

Criteria: Subject must be a young child who is perfectly normal, from a perfectly normal world. Emphasis that the world is boring, adult, and inaccessible to the subject. Child experiences the fantastic world via a guide. The fantastic world is a reflection of the real world, though not purely metaphorical as the cross-overs/interactions are real, (though always indirect or ephemeral) and happen independently of any action of the subject.

Fits the bill
Alice in Wonderland (though I'm not sure of this)
Wizard of Oz
Pan's Labyrinth
The Fall
Time Bandits
Calvin and Hobbes

Does not fit the bill
Baron Munchausen (because the real world in that story is absurd in its own right)
Harry Potter (as above; wizards are real in the real world)
Princess Bride (the subject has no impact on the fantasy world)

Contentious
Narnia (because the effects of the cross-over are not indirect)

Another milestone...

2011-05-18T11:38:00.001-07:00

Married ... check
Divorced once ... check
Home owner ... check
Kids ... check
Station wagon ... check

and now...

... now I have a man-bag.

Well what do you know?

2011-05-16T13:59:00.000-07:00

Hey, since the last time I blogged here, I got married! What a thing!

It hits me in waves, off and on, that this is a pretty darned big deal. It's actually messing with my sleep patterns just a bit.

That's really about all I have to report on at this point, except that the house is continuing onwards, the work is good, but very very busy, and spring is here, and it's very very dry.

Chess with Death

2011-05-04T11:13:00.000-07:00

Ok Death, you're a pretty good chess player.

Let's see, you've got House Renos, Wedding, Office Move, Insomnia, and Amateur Theatre Show all in play.

I counter with Supportive Friends and Family, Patience, A Sense of Priorities, Petting the Cats, and Red Wine.

Your mo-- ZZZZZZZZZZzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

Causality.

2011-05-02T08:05:00.000-07:00

I have discovered an interesting causal relationship.

My ability to type is inversely proportionate to the amount of whisky I drank the night before.

I would say that this warrants further study, but my research team is unwilling to undertake any further studies at this time.

However, my research team is VERY interested in studying whether a glass of water will make me feel better.

This is going to be a great week!

Horticultural Lessons

2011-04-27T01:21:00.000-07:00

A wee little oak tree poked his head up from the ground and looked around. He was in the middle of a row of mighty oak trees planted by the edge of a field of sunflowers.

He saw the other oaks, towering over the sunflowers, and he was awed.
He saw how tall they were, and he resolved to grow that tall. He saw how their bark was thick and brown, and their leaves lush dark green. He stretched as high as he could, and he felt his leaves grow out, in pairs, alternating back and forwards, and then sideways all the way up his trunk. He couldn't wait for his leaves to broaden out like the other oaks. He concentrated and concentrated and grew a great big leaf, even bigger and rounder than the leaves of the adult oak trees, right on the very top of his trunk. And rather than one peak, that huge leaf had points all around it. He laughed and rejoiced in the ease with which he had grown such a mighty leaf.
The wind blew, and the sunflowers swayed too and fro in the field. But the oak trees stood like rocks, monuments above him against the breeze. The little oak tree saw their strength, and the raw power of it took his breath away. He saw that there were little sunflowers around him, and he knew it was his duty to protect them. He stiffened his trunk, and he turned his great enormous leaf on the top of his head away from the wind and he gritted his teeth (it's my parable, I can say whether the damn tree had teeth, k?) and he held his ground. The wind blew with all its might, and he withstood it so well that his leaves barely touched the ground, and his trunk barely swayed compared to the sunflowers that he protected, and only a little more than the adult oak trees. That wind was so strong that some of the oak trees even lost some small branches, but the little oak didn't have any branches yet, so he was unmarred.
His bark began to change, from light green, to dark green, then to dark green with little hairs on it. He was sure, certain, that these were the little fibres that would stiffen his bark, and he checked them every night to be sure that they were turning into bark, which of course he could tell that they were.
And then the birds came! They perched in the trees around him, and on his very peak. Truly his huge leaf, the pride of his little oak existence, seemed very popular, and reached almost halfway up the biggest of the adult oaks. It was the perfect height for the birds, he could tell. Not as tall as an adult oak, and higher than all the sunflowers, but only by just enough that the birds could easily fly down and eat the sunflower seeds from their flowers.
He saw the other trees making acorns, and he tried all different techniques to make his own, without any success. But, he told himself, the effort is part of the learning process, and will make the success all the sweeter. In fact, he was trying harder than any of the other oaks to make acorns, and so it stood to reason that, when he succeeded, his acorns would be the best acorns, and make the best new little oak trees like him.

Picture him, in the peak of his happiness, the birds perched on his top-leaf, the huge round leaf with its dozens of points (when he was covered from root to stem with such leaves, wouldn't the other trees be impressed!) and the leaves up his trunk broadening out and filling him with warmth (he wondered how it would feel to have buds in the spring. Did they tickle?) and his bark beginning to harden (into such tough bark, oh he couldn't wait) and his alternating leaves up his trunk (which was so straight, even straighter than the oak trunks, and almost as thick as a bird's body, at this rate they would be making nests in his branches next spring!). He is the happiest oak tree, and a huge bright smile shines all the way around his top-leaf.

He is the happiest oak tree he could ever imagine.

Isambard update!

2011-04-26T09:17:00.000-07:00

Well where are we...

Lessee... the foundation is poured, and the house is ready to go back onto the proper place in... lessee... 4-5 days? This also includes the supports for the front porch and bay window.

The renos inside are firing back up again, the closet is ready to be re-drywalled and the bedroom is almost ready for new insulation. The next step is to finish the bookcase and the linen closet, then re-drywall up there and paint.

The rest of the house is approximately as it was... although the new insulation work has some impact on the ground floor as well.

Whoops, back to work!

Concrete day!

2011-04-21T08:43:00.000-07:00

And lo...

Perhaps...

If all the good girls and boys were EXTRA good...

And the stars aligned...

And the right incantations were spoken...

...

...

I might have basement walls today. STAY TUNED!

Communicating

2011-04-19T12:47:00.000-07:00

Huh...

Communicating is a two way street, right? The sending, and the receiving. So a good communicator is good at both. In the context of emotional communication, I am good with neither, to be clear.

But I think we tend to think people are effective communicators when they are in fact only good senders.

And I think it's fair to hold people to account when they are not in fact good communicators, they are loud or frequent senders.

That's all that was banging around in my head.

Pod Living

2011-04-18T11:15:00.000-07:00

I have been watching SWDNYHABN and I have noticed that she lives kind of like... Google Docs.

You can never be quite sure where anything really IS when you go looking for it, but she maintains a kind of mental inventory of where everything is at any given moment.

She: Grab my earrings, please.
Me: (Consults earrings storage place) Where are they?
She: In the soap dish in the bathroom.
Me: Of course they are.

This system works as well as mine does, no question, but it go tme thinking about my system of storage and maintenance.

I maintain a series of 'pods' around me at all times. In order of usage throughout the day, they are:

My office,
My jacket,
My knapsack,
The port side of the bed,
The right-hand bathroom drawer,
The kitchen counter,
Two shelves in the closet, and
The laundry hamper.

I know what is in each pod at any given time, and can instruct people to find or place things into the correct pod as necessary. Once inside the pod, all order vanishes and it's more or less chaos with some minor nods to comfort or function.

Some pods are 'bus' pods, that serve purposes to transition from pod to pod, and others are purely storage.

Why does all this matter? I think it's because when a pod fills up, I simply move on to another pod, leaving the old one full. Maybe if I said 'ok. this is what this pod holds and that's it' I might be more on top of matters... like my mail.

More on Christmas

2011-04-15T10:55:00.000-07:00

STUPID COMEDIANS MAKING THINGS MAKE SENSE!

Ricky Gervais on the celebration of Christmas by people who don't believe in Christ.

I think he wins.

And yes, I'm sure there's a way to embed it, but I'm old.

In case you ever wondered...

2011-04-13T20:04:00.001-07:00

...how damn big the Airbus A380 is, here it is in comparison to Bombardier commuter jet.

Notice hereby given!

2011-04-13T15:46:00.000-07:00

The following phrase is hereby banned from common usage:

"The Following Program contains Mature Content"

Because it doesn't. Ever. You know what contains mature content? The news. The Nature of Things with David Suzuki.

You know what does NOT contain mature content? Party Mamas, Toddlers and Tiaras, The Real Housewives of Goddamn Anywhere, or anything else of that ilk.

The phrase above will be replaced with:

"The Following Program will Destroy your Faith in Humanity and may cause Suicidal Urges"

Chiropractor, and then it was about bikes.

2011-04-07T11:58:00.000-07:00

Well I'll be darned.
Apparently your spine us supposed to bend. Apparently mine doesn't, so much. 76 crunching sounds later, and I'm feeling much better. Now if I could shake this cold, I'd be 100%.

The weather has broken and I'm back in full biking mode. I've had to do some repairs on it, unexpectedly, but that's ok, because I realized I spend less on bike repairs in a year total than most people spend on their cars in a month.

I try not to get preachy about it, but it's an amazing way to travel. It's cheap, it's fast, it's safe, it's good for your brain... and there's the whole environmental side to it.

However I will put this caveat in here: it is impossible to coast on your bike in cold weather, because you will freeze.

Pauses in conversation.

2011-04-04T08:33:00.000-07:00

I continue on my trajectory of learning to fight, and it's occurred to me that it's time to deploy the ol' sports metaphor for different kinds of fight.

Lessee...

Golf: the brooding fighter. Makes a mistake, realizes, takes self to task. Personal lessons are absorbed, but not shared as there's no adversary.

Fencing: There are rules. Thrust, parry, riposte. A controlled fight, a mutual agreed series of exchanges.

Wargames: Every ounce of cunning, every flexibility in the rules is exploited, every hit is legal.

That framework complete, I tend to approach fighting like playing pool. I survey the scene, go over every possibly angle, and attempt a very precise shot that will resolve the current situation and move on to the next situation.

My delightful partner approaches it more as a batting cage. After the first hit, fire the same ball, perhaps at a different height, or velocity, or spin and see what happens.

Very useful for me to know to be aware of what's going on when we argue!

You may return to your regular day.

Ah, back to work.

2011-03-23T14:38:00.000-07:00

In three weeks from the end of my vacation, of which three days have passed I have scheduled 31 hours of meetings, 9 hours of medical appointments... so... roughly a third of my time is gone already!

Hurrah!

Also, here's a REAL Stealthy Dachshund:

The winter that will never end.

2011-03-22T14:14:00.000-07:00

This winter has been... forever. It was warmed on the 27th of January than it is now. We've had the biggest snowfall since 1972. And it's snowing again.

What is more frightening, however, than its duration is that fact that its end is now in sight! Green grass is promised along with above zero temperatures. Birds are making some noises that indicate their priorities are changing, and the sun peeps over the horizon slightly earlier and slightly northerier (shush) every day.

This is very intimidating! Once I owned a light jacket, but where is it now? Is it lost? Can I remember how to wear it? If I wear it wrong, people will see my failure and mock me!

I knew once how to bicycle on a warm, dry road, but those skills are frozen and old.

I am genuinely afraid to see how this turns out.

Oh well, I'll give it my best shot and see!

Travel

2011-03-21T12:33:00.000-07:00

There's something about travelling that renews your vision.

I've noticed since getting home from far-off lands that everything looks different here in Prairie Metropolis and I'm seeing the buildings in a new way. The little architectural parts of them show up in different ways, even things as miniscule as the texture of the brick exterior walls.

I like it! It's a pity about the plane travel required though.

Also, I think the next time I travel to a country where I don't speak the language, language lessons will be required

Winter

2011-03-03T09:09:00.000-08:00

Dear winter.
I like you. You're fun. But the party is over. It is time for you to go home.
Please.
SD.

Also, in theory, there is a group of people moving my house! Into my yard! Photos to follow, I hope?

Banking and winter and... Germany!

2011-02-25T14:29:00.000-08:00

I fixed all my banking today. Sigh.
I actually have very few expenses, because I don't own a car. I don't say I have small expenses, I just don't have many. No car insurance, no registration, no car payments.

And it's winter. Very very winter. And I haven't biked in a week, which saddens me.

But soon SWDNYHABN and I are off to Germany for two weeks! SO MUCH FUN!

TIME TRAVEL BY JOVE!

2011-02-23T18:40:00.000-08:00

PATRON WANTED: I am seekinge a patron to sponsor me in the development of a time travel device, a mechanism if you will. The purpose of this device will be to enable myself to travel BACK IN TIME to a period approximately eight years ago, and punch myself in the gob.

THE PURPOSE thereof is to perhaps instill in my younger self a bit of a sense of humility and an understanding that despite my impression at the time, I was not nearly as brilliant as I thought, and that perhaps being sliiiiightly less satisfied with myself would prevent future turmoil.

PERHAPS THEN I would have talked half as much at half as many people half as loudly about half as many things half as certainly. I calculate that this would create a reduction of at least 24% in moments that would cause me to cringe in the future.

Excelsior!

2011-02-09T14:22:00.000-08:00

The shades of night were falling fast,
As through an Alpine village passed
A youth, who bore, ‘mid snow and ice,
A banner with the strange device,
Excelsior!

They said "pop up the mountain, Charlie
It's lovely up there.
It's an easy walk and you'll love the view,
And then we'll have a party for you"
Excelsior!

And as he climbed, they said, "Hey Chuck,
As soon as you get to the top
There'll be a big party and such"
And then they heard him shout:
Excelsior!

"Oh dear," they said, "you didn't see
You climbed the hill too slowlily
You should have known that from the start
Your climbing wasn't worth a fart"
Excelsior!

How dare you mock by climbing slow
Over the rocky slopes of snow
We are so angry you would try
Now go away, you make us cry
Excelsior!

There in the twilight cold and gray,
Tired, but very cold he lay,
And from the sky, serene and far,
A voice fell, like a falling star,
Excelsior!

A series of very small thoughts

2011-02-08T10:19:00.000-08:00

Goldarned phony-baloney intellectualists, mistaking snarkiness for wit, and rudeness for frankness.

I have been given some amazing things in my life. I'm lucky that I didn't have to earn them first. Doesn't mean I don't have to earn them though.

I am saving lots of money by taking lunches, and by buying two really good beers for SWDNYHABN rather than 6 ok ones.

It's really cold. And my bike is in terrible shape as a result. I wish I could put it in my garage. SOON I DESPERATELY HOPE.

Calories

2011-02-02T12:14:00.000-08:00

So an average Canadian is 1.48 metres tall with a BMI of 25.
So that person is 57 Kilos.
And needs to lose... 4 kilos.
Alright, so our average Canadian needs to burn... 30,836 calories.

This overweightness is estimated to cost us, um, holy crap, 4,300,000,000. There are 30,000,000 average canadians, so, that's um, 143$ a person.

Dang, that's not much money.

Now, how can we burn 30,000 calories?

I'm going to take cycling as activity #1. Cycling burns 450 calories an hour, so after 66 hours of cycling, calories are burned. One more hour of cycling once a week in the summer over 3 years.

Example #2 is more interesting: 234 hours of climbing stairs. Say you go to work, and you take the elevator up one floor. If you walk the stairs, in and out, 5 days a week, that's, um, 10 trips, 30 seconds each trip, 10 minutes a week, 520 minutes a year which is 8.6 hours, you'll burn all those calories in... 27 years.

Damn. I though we could afford and justify this:

EDIT: Ok, so that's 30,000 calories per person, 30,000,000 of us, that's, um, 900,000,000,000 calories, at a cost of $4,300,000,000, so that's 900,000 to $4,300, so 9,000 to $43 (round up for easy math to $45), so it's 1,000 calories need to burned at a cost of $5, or 200 calories burned for a dollar. Every dollar we spend on fitness programming needs to burn more than 200 calories. Huh

Sports and Arts

2011-01-27T13:30:00.001-08:00

So a wise woman of my acquaintance postulates the sports and arts have a similarly beneficial effect on your community.

If sports teams provide the same kind of benefit, do they provide them in the same way?

It's good to have an arts scene. It encourages artistic endeavour in community members, it encourages people from afar to come to your community to participate in the arts world, and it challenges, in extreme cases, the community to express itself against repression or intolerance.. Ok, let's do a google for "athletes call for..."
Alright, sports passed that test...

Ok, so it's also good to go and experience the arts. I suspect it exposes you to other cultures, it's likely good for your brain, it probably offsets any number of mental diseases. It lowers blood pressure, it engages passion, etc. Any benefits to being a sports spectator? Well I'll be damned. Also "No results found for "watching sports makes you dumber""

Ok, this next one is a gimme. Supporting culture helps cause all the things above, I'm not even going to bother to google whether supporting sports does the same. So I'll just put this here:

(I'd give him $70)

I'm still not 100% sold. Why do sports not have the same reputation as arts, then? Maybe it's because the 'stereotypical' sports fan does not exemplify the benefits above.
We expect to see the fan on the left, instead of the fans on the right.

Ok, I have to wrap this one u

In summary, sports and arts are equally good for you if you let them be. It's easier with arts because we value the benefits, and recognize them, and celebrate them as the primary reason for the thing. In sports, if we value the benefits above more than we value winning, then we see the benefits, and reap them.

I do not say we have to do away with competition, because I believe that competition is heart and soul to sport (this is not fitness, this is sport!)

Now, for a moment, I was terrified that I had talked myself into supporting the public funding of the downtown arena, but I think I have solved that one too. The downtown arena would be privately owned, and thus not erected for the promotion of the benefits above. So I would support a publicly owned arena. Following up from that, I believe we have a good community-owned arena now, owned by "a non-profit, volunteer organization... founded in 1879, before the official incorporation of the city."

What did I miss?

Finances

2011-01-26T10:22:00.000-08:00

So I do some pretty detailed analysis of my spending on an ongoing basis.

Now that 2010 is over, I have some interesting numbers:

I spent $2,633 on groceries; about $8 a day. So far this year, I have spent $278, which is about $10 a day. Expected net result, spending will be up $730 this year.

I spent $3,550 dining out; about $10 a day. So far this year I have spent $178 dining out; about $7 a day. Expected net result, spending will drop $1,095.

Hey, so far I'm up $300 on the year! Taking my lunch FTW! The downside is that by the time lunch-time gets here, I'm hungry! I don't like being hungry.

I spent... um... sigh... $1,377 on alcohol, or about $4 a day. So far this year I have spent $192 on booze, about $8 a day. DING DONG CRAP. However.... if I eliminate one very high end purchase, it's only $5 a day, so a yearly increase on this of $365.

The last of my top-four discretionary expenses is... shall we say a particularly popular northern coffee emporium? Last year I paid $496 for their delicious delicious coffee, or about $1.50 a day. This year I have successfully cut it down to $1 a day so far...

So so far, breaking even! Or so.
:)

House update

2011-01-25T14:40:00.000-08:00

So, the New Contractor is blazing away on the house, he has had meetings with the neighbours, and the real possibility is that the job may in fact be done by the end of February! This is very exciting.

These contractors seem genuinely interested in finishing the job.

This I like.

I've been in and out of the house a few times, and have noted that there is definitely going to be a mass purging of anything that was in a bottle, as the freeze/thaw process has not been kind on containers.

This I don't like, but it's ok.

I also dropped a bottle of wine off at the house next door, and that has helped a great deal of things, too, I think

Self-control

2011-01-24T12:55:00.000-08:00

So She Who Does Not Yet Have a Blog Nickname is away for the week, and I have noticed that my domestic routine is all shot to heck.

I did get up this morning and make breakfast, same as ever, and did some cleaning, so it may be that this is only a temporary state, a sort of reaction to the solitude. Hopefully I can keep myself on routine for the time-being.

I wonder how much of my routine exists only because of other people? hmmm, a far amount these days, at first glance. However, I would say that during my formative bachelor years I did maintain quite a lo of discipline and routine, simply as a way to remember to get things done. I expect I will return to that fairly soon. Within hours I would expect. Also, the cats somewhat insist on it.

The house project is moving ahead, finally, with engineers and pilings and such. I am such a dolt, but I am a better educated dolt.

Mrs. A's dilemma

2011-01-14T14:59:00.000-08:00

TO BE 100% CLEAR: Mrs. A is in no way and has never been in any way involved with me.

Mrs. A had this on her facebook today:

Mrs. A-----
‎When I was married, I was running 4 times a week, weight lifting 3-4 times a week, practicing guitar 30-45 minutes daily with few exceptions...

was also writing recording and performing music, sewing my own clothes and crocheting various projects. On top of that, I was keeping up with school work (though admittedly last year was a light year in terms of teaching load) and I was ...spending plenty of time with my children. I also somehow managed to fit it copious amounts of FB time and weekly correspondence to three regular e-pals. Plus regular reading time for pleasure was accomplished with no stretch.

I now live on my own and have my children every other week. I am absolutely swamped with marking, I am exhausted and the house is not "set up" so there are always things nagging at me. I also have to cook now and get my own groceries. Nevertheless, I don't see how that can account for the fact that I can't seem to get my momentum back. Squeezing in three runs is arduous and so painful in terms of logistics that it easily gets lost in the shuffle. Same with guitar practice. Everything else has completely fallen by the wayside. Even taking into consideration that C----- is distracting me 12 days a month, it still doesn't make sense.

Someone please ask questions/analyze my schedule so that I can fit in the things I love once again!

I think, Mrs. A-----, that the problem is that you are crazy. You disliked your marriage because you found it very confining to 'follow your husband's rules' (direct quote).

Is it possible that you , a lady in your mid 40s, but be self-aware enough to notice that you might need some 'rules' to flourish? No? The joy of attempting to reclaim your youth has somewhat occluded your self-image?

There's not much to say about this other than I remember when you decided to leave your marriage, and what it did to your husband, and to your kids. I'm amazed that even when you state what it did to you... you don't see it as anything but a win.

Onwards and upwards

2011-01-14T14:43:00.000-08:00

My day to day workload these days is about 104 things.
My own task management system means that I do not accomplish any of things, but nothing gets left too far behind. I guess you could say that I fail equally.
No spikes, no valleys.

That may not be a sustainable system.

You cannot outsmart crazy

2011-01-11T10:45:00.000-08:00

So don't try.

The moment you try to outsmart the crazy, you are behind the eight-ball. Crazy is a moving target. Aim at it, and it's already moved on ahead.

So how do we prepare for it? How do we reject it? I think it is based on the idea that while you cannot outsmart crazy, it cannot derail you.

Keep going, don't adjust course based on craziness, and crazy will miss you.

There's some kind of metaphor... in the back of my head, for a thing that can only affect you if you look at it, and if you ignore it, is powerless to injure you.

Snow and driving

2011-01-10T10:44:00.000-08:00

I am imagining a course for winter driving. REAL winter driving:

Lesson 1: Steering.
In a front-wheel drive car, you steer with the same wheels that you pull with. Therefore... The less you steer, the more power you will have.
If you turn early into a corner, you will drag the back end (the non-steering and non-pushing) end of your car through the snow. Click here and learn the late-apex turn

Lesson 2: Power.
Imagine for a moment, that you are spinning your tires. What happens when you give more gas? If you answered "magical pixies will give me traction", please buy a bus-pass. If you answered "the tires will spin faster", you win a cookie.
Lay off the damn gas when your tires are spinning.

Lesson 3: Braking.
You have more braking power when your wheels are turning than when they are not.

Lesson 4: Tires.
Snow. Tires.
That is all for Lesson 4
Supplemental Reading.

Lesson 5: Getting unstuck.
This will combine all the above lessons. You will learn to steer gently, accelerate very slowly, on good tires. Students who fail will have to take Lesson 6.

Lesson 6: Shoveling and Pushing.
First: Wear proper clothes. Hat, mitts, boots, coat.
Second: Take a shovel.

Any questions?

2010 reflection number 1

2011-01-06T09:57:00.000-08:00

(I said number 1 in case there are more)

2010 was a year of recovering from mistakes and errors. Not a year of great success, as those came in 2009 for the most part, and not entirely a year of _making_ mistakes, although there were some of those, too!

I am significantly a better person than I was a year ago, but as always, that process has been one of constructive criticism, not one of being awesome. Being awesome has never resulted in me being actually better, compared to 'digging out' from previous mistakes

Dentist!

2010-10-28T10:25:00.000-07:00

I am at the dentist for the first time in living memory. Pray for me!

Waiting

2010-10-24T12:45:00.001-07:00

So SheWhoDoesNotHaveABlogNickname and I are waiting for the contractor to meet. Maybe we will fire him. We sure as hell will fire him if he doesn't show up.
That will suck.

House onwards

2010-10-23T12:27:00.001-07:00

So the house project continues very very slowly. It's actually starting to seriously impact my karmic balance.
The future of the house is literally up in the air, which leaves my possessions, my space and The Boy's space and possessions up in the air as well.
I have done what homework I could think to do with the contractor, but his pace is now a major cause of worry. Without significant advances quickly, this reno could have negative consequences for the rest of the house.
I've done my best to treat the house well over the last few years, with mixed success, but I may have gotten in over my head on this one. And while it would be 'facile' to say that I'll learn a lot regardless of whether this succeeds, I'm not happy doing that with several hundred thousand dollars of house and home.
And I must also remember that maybe it will be just fine and will come together ish sha Allah.

Garage 2

2010-09-12T20:17:00.000-07:00

Sweet jebus.

I am close to done. 3 walls out of 4 are done, and the 4th wall only has tools. The props are mostly packed and back in the house, and the floors is swept and vacuumed.

I need to emphasize again the quantity of crap in this garage.

Total linear feet: 60.
Stacked about 8 feet high (on average, I would say)
about 2 feet thick.

960 cubic feet of stuff. So if you picked up a box (that was one cubic foot) a day and moved it, it would take two years to empty. TWO YEARS.

Garage cleaning

2010-09-11T18:59:00.000-07:00

So I have been cleaning out my garage, and by cleaning out, I mean.. emptying. It has to be emptied to be moved, so that the house can be moved, so that the basement can be repoured. It's a complex tapestry, ok?

Anyway, I'm cleaning out the garage. Today I set aside about a cord of building materials and props that I want to keep, a cord of building supplies that I hope people will steal, and about a cord of garbage.

For many years I have said that my garage is not that bad. "Oh, there's a few things in there, but it's under control," I would say, or "Yah, I'll get it cleaned out one day".

Well. the ratio of what I thought it would take to clean out and what it has actually taken is about 3:1. I would say that I only knew about a third of the deposits and caches of things hidden in the garage. Some of the caches predate me, and are leftovers from the man I bought the house from.

So let this be a warning to you! If you are carrying around an albatross , it is bigger than you think! It is HUGE! HUUUUUUUUGE.

Reviewing

2010-08-17T11:11:00.000-07:00

(2 blog posts in 2 days? I must be ill)

In a previous blog post, I talked about the concept that, as a solo unit, I can do what I like when I like and so I'm quite productive.

This is quite interesting to re-read now, when I'm in a place where I am putting quite a lot of work into being not solo any more and maybe making that a long-term arrangement.

There is trouble a-brewed between my 'single source of future' and she-who-does-not-have-a-blog-nickname, as one might expect. (I think the problem has largely been de-brewed, btw). It was very difficult to relinquish my stranglehold on the future and deliberately and, without any sense of confidence that I would agree, let someone else decide.

The next difficulty is trying to convince the decider, that though I don't agree necessarily, I support any decision made. This usually leads to attempting to convince me to agree, which I feel is moot at that point.

The physical energy piece is also an interesting one that has re-occurred, and that will need some management in the future. I remain able to do 6-8 hours of physical labour in the course of a day, and don't particularly enjoy having to stop. I don't want to change this, but I want it to not cause any distress. Mostly it doesn't.

Anyway, back to defensive driving class!

Muses (first draft)

2010-08-16T10:18:00.000-07:00

(Note: I did not make a "Musing on Muses" pun. This is rare)

From Wikipedia: "Three ancient Muses were also reported in Plutarch's Quaestiones Conviviviales (9.I4.2-4).[5] The Roman scholar Varro relates that there are only three Muses: one who is born from the movement of water, another who makes sound by striking the air, and a third, who is embodied only in the human voice. However the Classical understanding of the muses tripled their triad, set at nine goddesses, who embody the arts and inspire creation with their graces through remembered and improvised song and stage, writing, traditional music, and dance."

It is clear that the Classical understanding is wrong. Wrong wrong wrong. Going back to the source, Varro, we will examine his three Muses:

"One is born from the movement of water". The movement of water, also known as the Hydrologic Cycle. Plutarch has not documented a graceful figure who trips lightly from rock to rock like the current of a stream in a beer ad causing artists to leap to their easels and create paintings using light tripping brush strokes or musicians to dot the staves with tiny effervescent symbols of sound; he has documented an unending pattern of repeating inspiration: 'Have you finished Hell yet, Dante? How 'bout now? You promised it to the Papal Legate three weeks ago. Are you working on it right now? You should work on it now. This is going to be like the Convivio again, isn't it? Why aren't you working on it right now?"

"One who makes sound by striking the air". This Muse is throwing punches!. Possibly also throwing crockery. The only reasonable explanation for why she is striking the air is that she is missing the artist. Lucky fellow. This muse is not a willowy figure flitting among the daisies; this muse is armed with a wallpaper sponge and about 8 milliseconds of patience. Not getting that aria finished, Giacomo? WHIIIIIZZZZ goes the wallpaper sponge, just over your head. You bet it'll get done. Trouble with the theory of relativity, Al? ZOOOOOOOOM, right in front of your face with the ol' sponge again. Inspiration better strike before she does, 'cause she's angry!

"One who is embodied only in the human voice" Ooh, you're a young artist, I bet you'd love a lilting voice singing Enya songs to inspire you, wouldn't you? has it occurred to you that the human voice can be used in some other ways? What you're getting, my friend, is the muse of shouting. You'll be locked in some quandary about what finger God is using to impart awesomeness to man, and you'll hear "WHY ISN'T THIS CEILING PAINTED YET, MICHAEL?" And of course, the reason she's embodied only in the voice is that you never get a chance to see her coming; she is invisible. If you're very lucky, you might get to hear the key in the door or the click of the latch before the 'inspiration' starts.

Old Varro there, he was smart. And he knew that artists, by and large, aren't. So he told them thus, "Guys, you want to be inspired and meet your potential? Find a partner who will not give up reminding you what you're supposed to be doing, has a strong pitching arm but the courtesy to not brain you without a warning shot, and who will have zero patience for your fits of artistic pique"

Lucky fellows, them artists!

Blogula!

2010-08-11T07:54:00.000-07:00

Count Blogula, the undead blog, rises from the grave!

Since we last spoke, here's the various scoops:

My house remains obstinately on the ground, foiled by 'Audrey' at the Planning department of Prairie Metropolis. See, my house is so close to the house next door that the City would very much like it if the houses were torn down and replaced with something spaced a little farther apart. As of this morning, The Contractor and I, who are in constant contact, believe we are leaping the last hurdle even now. The main bone of confusion seems to be that the City thinks I am raising the house to a new level, when in fact, I am lowering it. Kinda.

I am continuing to live with She Who Does Not Have A Blog Nickname, and that is going very well. The condo is no bigger than it was, but that's ok, too. I do really miss living in Isambard, but that will come back in its time too. I am 100% aware of the stress that moving into that house may cause her, but I'm gonna make that play nonetheless when the time is right!

There is much to do on renovating it on the inside before that can happen, anyway, so
there's not a huge rush.

UPDATE: Audrey, the cruel empress of planning, has relinquished the house, and I am informed that we are marching forward. More details to follow.

Cohabitating, part... I don't know... 7?

2010-06-14T10:45:00.000-07:00

A few more things I've noted:

1) Three cats produce approximately 1/2 a litre of hair a week. On laminate flooring, it 'pools' together due to the air stirred up by the passage of people, and fifth floor wind gusts.

2) It's really nice to live with someone who does laundry the same way you do. It's a huge thing-that-isn't-stressful.

3) Apartments are really small. The kitchens are small, the bedrooms are small, the living room is-- actually, pretty big.

4) Getting into the routines is a constant source of negootiation. Grocery buying the first time was a bit of a hassle, trying to buy groceries for two. I've evolved a somewhat strange style of grocery buying the last two years, based on gettign generic staples and some basic ingredients, THEN basing my menus on what I have. Turns otu there's a large body of folks what do it differently! Apparently you can buy gorciers by starting with the the menu THEN buying corresponding groceries.
Weird....

Guinea pigs.

2010-05-27T20:06:00.001-07:00

Dear sir or madam,
Should we meet, I a civilized man of some taste and distinction, and
you, a person who poisons guinea pigs, I will punch you in the cock.
In the interim, I remain,
Yours truly,
The Stealthy Dachshund.

--
Sent from my mobile device

Living together more

2010-05-26T07:56:00.000-07:00

I don't fight well. It's not a skill I have developed. But I tell ya, I'm developing it now.

Here's what I've learned:

The fight is never about what it is about. It's about something else. That doesn't mwean it's a bad thing, but you haev to get through the small stuff to get to the big stuff (that's usually also not that big)

The faster you fight, the faster it's over. Get it done. Yesterday, there was a fight that would have taken... 4 days or so in a previous life, becuase of my efforts to avoid it. Last night, diving in, it toook ten minutes.

Because the fight is not about what you think it is about, you never actually lose. Say you don't like barstools. Your partner wants to buy 12 of them. So you fight about it. You're not going to lose that fight, even if you get the barstools, because it's not about barstools; it's about... oh, let's say... not being listened to. After the fight, you'll have been listened to, and you won't care about barstools.

And so it goes.

I've also learned that cat hair builds up faster in 800 sq.ft. than it does in 1800 sq.ft.

More cohabitating.

2010-05-21T14:39:00.000-07:00

I have learned another thing.

I don't clean 'cause I think I should. I don't clean 'cause I think it will make the people around me happy. I don't clean because I'm a neat person.

I clean because it makes me feel good.

It's a drug.

Cohabitation... take 2?

2010-05-19T21:14:00.000-07:00

Well for those of you not in the loop on this, She-who-does-not-yet-have-a-blog-nickname and I are cohabitating in her condo while I redo my basement.

So I moved the cats and the fish and the plant over there on... Sunday I guess, and a few clothes, etc.

We've been spending most of our time together anyway, so it's not a huge change in how much we see each other, but there's still some subtle changes that are just now coming to me...

1) Affection by housework. I notice this pattern re-asserting itself. I like the look of a clean kitchen; I find it very calming. I suppose it's an assumption of mine that my partner feels the same way, and that when she comes home and sees the clean kitchen or bathroom or whatever, then she will feel the same calming effect that I do, and associate it with me. I'm not sure that's good advertising. ;)

2) Apartment living. I have to keep my bike on the balcony of the condo. That is the very definition of a pain in the ass. Through the front door of the condo, past the cats through the dining room and over the 12" gap onto the balcony. I so love having a garage I can put my bike in.

3) Energy and water use. I'm a pretty crazy extreme-o environmentalist, and I get nervous and tense when the lights are left on, the water runs, or what have you. It's really hard not to make that everyone's problem. Despite the fact that I am completely correct in my environmental views (I KEED, I KEED), I need to remember that this is MY problem.

4) Space. I am conscious of trying to take up as little space as possible. I don't know why, but I am. It's a similar feeling to the environmentalism. Food for thought, anyway.

5) Cats. They see everything as beds. Chairs are cat beds, tables are cat beds, shelves are cat beds, people are cat beds, the GRAND PIANO is a cat bed.

That's it for now.

Ohhhh yeaaahhh... the other thing!

2010-05-14T08:55:00.000-07:00

OH YEAH!

I forgot. I also did the second trip to the courthouse yesterday to get divorced.

Ok, so the first visit, you just popp in and you say "Hiya, I'd like to get divorced" and they say "ok, here's your divorce number". But you say it in 6 pages.

The second visit you tell them that someone told your spouse, you tell them WHO told your spouse, you tell them you weren't kidding and you'd actually like to get divorced for real, you tell them that you are actually you, you tell them you were actually married, and then you tell them how to give you a divorce. You tell them this in 15 pages, containing 3 signed pieces of evidence, 2 separate documents sworn by a commissioner, and then you go home.

So that's what I did!

I"m still not divorced; the divorce egg takes 8 weeks to hatch... so I wait.

Summary!

2010-05-14T08:21:00.000-07:00

Well holy hannah on a stick, folks, this is busier than hell.

The relationship front is robust. Kinda a lot like being married again. In fact, we're moving in together while I fix up my house!

So... on the house front, the plan is to lift it up into the air, re-pour the basement, and put it back down again. There may be more stuff to get done while the house is empty, we'll see...

The Boy is doing very well, and getting ridiculously tall. He's grown an inch a month over the winter.

And hey, I just updated my blog! Woooo!

Oh dear sweet heavenly jebus.

2010-03-10T10:11:00.001-08:00

So last year at work I operated a cross-sector meeting with a workshop
component. For 200 people. It went well.
The team was me, a crazy lady, and one guy who did little.

This year some new person is running it. For 130 people. With a team
of professional trainers and contractors, and 3 admin staff.

And it is a complete unmitigated shit-show.

--
Sent from my mobile device

A funny.

2010-02-26T15:58:00.001-08:00

I have to share this because it's hilarious and this is the last place I can share this kind of stuff.

Friend: "has had a lovely phone interaction with the most obscene, irrate, and rude piece of ca-ca, EVER! I have lived in CRAZYTOWN for 8 years, we do NOT have an ESSO station. I had a courier call and ask me how to get to my house from ESSO. I told him, I am sorry, we do not have an ESSO in CRAZYTOWN. He proceeded to tell me... I was stupid. Hum buddy, you pissed off the wrong exhausted pregnant woman!"

ummm... so... being curious... I googled it. "CRAZYTOWN ESSO"

And there is an ESSO in CRAZYTOWN.

I guess we should focus on the fact that Friend is EXHAUSTED and about 12 months pregnant and possibly not in her right mind.

Parable

2010-02-25T19:42:00.001-08:00

(Aka 'Oh Look, an Abandoned Blog')

Looked like on of those dives you see on the silver screen, all dark
booths and a long wooden bar. Unsavoury charatcers sit at tables, but
they don't talk. Heck, the entrance is even down an alley, just as
you think it should be.
I didn't think I remembered where it was, hell, I'd done some work to
forget. I'd thrown away the map, deleted the number, call it what you
like. Let's just say I wasn't eager to re-forge my relationship with
the place.
But there I was. Couldn't even remember how I got there. There'd
been a dustup... In front of Colby's maybe. Anyway, the lights came
back on in my head and I was back there. Glass of beer in my hand,
just like the old days. No pint glasses in here; this isn't Hudson's,
college boy.

Funny, but I never noticed the smell before that night, like a factory
stink. The stink of a hundred sweaty guys drinkin' desperation and
munching wasted-life from bowls on the bar. Saw a couple of old
acquaintances, friends I'd have called them then, grey sack-cloth for
faces and then little Xes sewn on for eyes. I don't think they saw
me. Maybe they did; maybe they didn't recognize me. Planning not to
be back meant I hadn't kept in touch, and I'd changed a fair 'mount.

Wouldn't you know it, but into this cess-pool of human sadness she walks.

And it was just like the scene in the movie, you know the one with the
music and the black and white soft focus. I think she even had a hat
on.

And she gives me five good reasons to get out of my chair right upside
the head and turns to walk out.

And I'm lying there in the ruins of my chair, half a bowl of salted
nuts and six ounces of beer and I had a choice to make. I could lay
there in the muck on the floor or get the hell up and out.

So I get up and out.

And if I see that place again before I'm a-hundred and eight, it'll be
seven life-times too soon.

--
Sent from my mobile device

Dogs don't like helicopters.

2010-01-29T12:48:00.001-08:00

View more news videos at: http://www.nbcsandiego.com/video.

Good gravy

2010-01-04T09:29:00.000-08:00

It's been almost 2 months since I've blogged... so... here's a quick recap.

2 days after I last blogged I went on a first date with a truly amazing young lady.

5 days after I last blogged I got a promotion at work. I get paid $25 dollars more every two weeks! That's one ENTIRE case of beer! But on a more positive note, I haven't had to write a briefing note since.

The old house is coming along, I have nearly all gutted one room to reinsulate it and that makes me very very happy.

That's all the news for now.

Oh, and I made bread yesterday. It's easy.

Another real blog post

2009-11-11T12:21:00.000-08:00

(I've been insanely busy, kk?)

Thanks mostly to this little guy:

Yup, that would be your basic swine-flu, right there. I don't have it, but it's business number one at work right now.

Anyhoo, where was I? Oh yes, it's been a month since I've last blgged, and much much has happened since then.

1) Work has been manic, off the charts. I ran a conference in Calgary, have another one coming up at the end of this month, all while H1N1 is drawing us further and further into work (and it's anticipated this pace will continue until December 23rd)

2) A Friend, as Crimson Rambler is wont to call them. This has been very funny, and at this point a product of the Stealthdachshund's infinite patience. and Beer.

3) The house... oh... the house... I am doing renos in the spare room right now, and discovered that the previous owner has liberally applied glue to where the stealthdachshund would apply nails.
In summary, He glued his window trim to the wall. Ok. Except that I needed to lift the trim to insulate under it. AND, the walls are made of plaster... except because of the gaps in the insulation, the plaster is rotten. So when I pried the trim up, the wall came with it. BLIND WITH RAGE!

A real blog post!

2009-10-06T14:12:00.000-07:00

I planned to blog on a particular scene from a cult film and how it has influenced prayer in my life.

To help, I google-d the scene in question. Overwhelming consensus across the intar-toobs that this is the best moment of prayer in film. So I feel a little late to the party.

Anyway, here it is:

As one can tell from the comments, there's quite a community that feels this scene also resonates for them.

Of note in the scene, for you philistines who have never seen the film, is that the protagonist is shipwrecked, terminally ill, and the love of his life whom he has only just met, is comatose and shows no sign of revival.

Outside tasks.

2009-09-08T10:08:00.000-07:00

By george, I might actually finish something.

My front deck requires MAYBE one more coat of paint, and then... well.. I think it's done for this year!

My back balcony requires a bit more work. One of the boards I used is very very bowed, so I need to think of something cunning to straighten it before I put the railing on it.

Then I need to quick quick build a deck over at the Rambler's... can't forget to do that

Things at work that are good:

2009-09-01T15:45:00.001-07:00

Boss has gone away: good
Boss has given me his corner office: better
Boss has given me his truck: even better
I have a badge: WOOOOOOOOOO!

Sweep Sweep Paint Paint Drill Drill

2009-08-21T09:40:00.000-07:00

Phew.
More progress last night on the front and back porches. The back porch is very close to done. I need to paint the deck of it, then wait 'til my room-mate is gone so I can finish the railing (as I'll need to haul equipment through the roommate's room), install corner trim around the posts so that no water can get down them. Then if I buy a paint-gun... I could finish priming the whole thing before winter comes!

As for the front, I am trying to order some lovely decorations, and finish painting it! I put the first coat of some primer on it last night, but I need to sand again and paint again, then paint again, then sand again. Then I can install the trim on it, and paint the trim. Once the decorations come I can install them and call it done for the winter. I'll need to install the south side of the railings next year, sadly. Ah well, no huge loss

A few handy definitions:

2009-08-20T07:43:00.000-07:00

Foundation Header: This is the space over your foundation below the first floor of your house. Yours is likely capped at the ends with board, like 2x10s. Mine, apparently, is capped by wire mesh and a sign that says "Cold Air: Get In Here!"
DID YOU KNOW? Insulating this will cost approximately $1700?

Fascia: This is the vertical board that caps your roof joists, providing a strong secure bond between your eavestroughs and your house. Some exceptions do exist, such as in my house, where the fascia boards are made of compressed rot, and will eject the eavestroughs at the earliest opportunity.
DID YOU KNOW? Replacing this costs about $500?

Eavestroughs: These are aluminum or plastic troughs that attach to the side of your house and funnel rainwater and other precipitation away from your house, typically into rain-barrels. My neighbour's system has an ingenious setup whereby all the precipitation from his roof is deposited next to my side door. This is known as the Niagara Falls effect.
DID YOU KNOW? Replacing 100' of eavestroughs costs approximately $1400

Damn Fine: This is the technical description for how my railing and floor and walls are going to look when the refinisher is done.
DID YOU KNOW? There goes another $4000?

DID YOU KNOW? You're getting a nice hand-made card for Christmas. And possibly a hug. For the next five years.

Back at the grind!

2009-08-18T07:55:00.000-07:00

Well, no excuses remain.
I have finished my major special events for the summer, I have got the house to a moderate state of cleanliness, I guess it's really time to finish some renos.

My social calendar is entirely mine to command (hurrah!) and I can work late if needs be to make time for other stuff.

I was hoping for a wee raise this month, and it has not come to pass, so maybe that will come in September.

If I can get three more projects finished, which is possible, I'll actually be able to go into winter with a light heart and do some interior projects!

Privacy, I used to have it.

2009-07-31T08:29:00.000-07:00

If I had to think of a scale on which to rate my control over my own information, I would rank the following ratings on a scale of one to five:

1: Aperture. Can I control who sees the information? (Five is complete control, where others cannot even pass on the information, and one is complete lack of control where the information is entirely public)
2: Reflectivity. Can I see a reciprocal level of information from others? And does a reciprocal level of information even exist? (Five is a tit-for-tat arrangement of shared info, and one is, well, one-way communication only)
3: Identity. Are the people who see the information aware it is my information? (Five is completely anonymous, One is every bit of it signed with my name)
4: Intention. Is the information pushed by me, or is it gathered by others. (Five is a process by which I publish the information and have complete control over it, One is a situation where I am, in essence, monitored)

Facebook... 3, 3, 1, 1. Total score: 8
I'd rate it higher if it weren't for the fact that pictures can be put up of me and tagged by other people without my knowing.

Twitter... 1, 1, 2, 1. Total score: 5
Twitter ended up almost more private than Facebook, until I realized that everyone who follows me on Twitter knows who I am. Then I thought more about the fact that I am 'followed' and lowered the Intention score a lot.

Gmail Calendar... 5, 4, 1, 3. Total score: 12
I think because the people who see my calendar are completely trustworthy, I'm comfy with the amount of information I put on it.

Blogger.com... 3, 5, 3, 3. Total score: 14 (16 for one of my blogs)
This is the last open space where I can put information about me that is not instantly seen by everyone I know.

Hmmmm. Does this keep me honest, or does it creep the crap out of me? Can't it be both?

Home update!

2009-07-29T08:32:00.000-07:00

My god, it's all coming together, I think...

I have successfully constructed new stairs for my decks, and I have a plan to finish the upstairs balcony and paint it... Mmmm... plastic paint. (supposed to be SUPER durable) I think this will also require me to buy another power tool (a pneumatic paint-gun). DANG! I SAY DANG!

In fact... with a little luck and some good weather... I may have the balcony done this weekend!

Not including the fabulous solar lamp that I'm sure exists that I want to put on it.

Something like the lamppost from Narnia, but solar.

Housely things!

2009-07-13T07:07:00.001-07:00

I did a big, long-overdue houseclean this weekend. It's funny how it is getting easier to do as I settle in more and more. There's a definite sense of knowing where everything goes. I got rid of a bag of clothes I don't like anymore. I rearranged my closet to my satisfaction.

I have two big scary things left to do that are not going to be easy:

The basement:
My basement is a combination of craft supplies storage and costume storage. It needs to stop being those things. I'd like to get it completely empty and there's no really good reason why it isn't.

The garage:
This where I keep the REST of the craft supplies and costumes. I'd like to get it so empty that I can a) walk around in it, and b) insulate the ceiling, so that I can use it in the winter-time.

Well, back to work!

Full speed ahead!

2009-07-08T07:43:00.000-07:00

How to make it rain:

a) remove your eavestroughs and rainbarrels,
b) leave the wheelbarrow out in the yard, upright,
c) lay new paving stones under where your eavestroughs used to be,
d) Put your rain gear for your bike in a closet and forget where, and
e) Bring in some building supplies and put them behind your garage in the open

RAIN = GUARANTEED.

More busier!

2009-07-07T06:48:00.000-07:00

And on top of the work madness, a good friend is now in hospital.
Wheeeeeeeeeeeee!
I know I'm too tired when I don't have the energy for long rambling metaphors.

In any case, I'm eating much better. I bought all my non-perishables for the summer on the weekend (except 5 doz. bagels) and am slowly working my way through eating them. My fridge is very very empty, and my freezer is very very full.

Holding on

2009-07-01T15:53:00.000-07:00

Busy busy busy!
I'm at work. While that's laudable, it is a statutory holiday today and I shouldn't be here. But I'm getting a fair amount done. It's not like there's a sense of warm self-satisfaction because there's still a lot to do.

Woooo!

2009-06-26T23:40:00.001-07:00

26 km in 1:22, average speed of 19.6 including 3 climbs out of the river valley.

I can do better.

--
Sent from Gmail for mobile | mobile.google.com

First!

2009-06-26T07:50:00.000-07:00

(First family member to blog on Michael Jackson! I win!)

Anyhoo...

So I learned yesterday via IM that Michael Jackson had died, or maybe not, or maybe so, and then yes for sure.

There are two epitaphs for him:
"Thriller is the sixth studio album by American recording artist Michael Jackson and the best-selling album of all time"
and
"Jacko Found Not Guilty on All Counts"

Both need to be considered for a complete picture of the man, but ultimately the first is paramount, and may in a certain light be the cause of the second.

I have noticed in many of my peers, and certainly those people who have never seen the Thriller album (I mean, phsyically SEEN it (aka "young whippersnappers") a tendency to dismiss epitaph number 1 because of epitaph number two, and that's not correct either.

Michael Jackson was The King of Pop, and like many other monarchs, he died insane, in exile and a polarizing figure.

Two important metaphors

2009-06-25T09:57:00.000-07:00

A dog with two bones:

A dog, carrying a bone in his mouth, passes over a stream. He sees another dog in the water, with a bigger bone than his. The dog decides to try and take the bigger bone, and he opens his mouth to grab it. His own bone falls into the stream and is washed away, and he comes up with only a mouthful of water.

Upsetting the apple-cart:

"to cause trouble, especially by spoiling someone's plans"(ref). To have somethign working just fine and then get rid of it and anger the people around you.

Now, can a dog, trying to get a bigger bone, knock over an apple-cart? Have to be a big dog...

And, because it seems a propos:

Breaking points

2009-06-22T08:24:00.000-07:00

I made a little note in my calendar to keep the 21st of June open. To schedule nothing into it. And I mostly didn't.
The only thing I scheduled in was a quick run out to a friend's place to do some handy-manning, which took about three hours, travel time included. (It's hard to breeze and do the work and breeze out when a baby is napping.)
I did this so that I could recover from what has been a fortnight of mad crazy running around from place to place. And recover I did.
I slept until 10am, and again from 2pm 'til 7pm and again from 10pm on.

Eep!

2009-06-19T10:01:00.000-07:00

Drum sets are very expensive.

They are also more expensive than you think, because the cost on the ticket does not include cymbals or stands.

Island

2009-06-16T07:32:00.000-07:00

As I was tending to the Glade last evening, I was suddenly surrounded by canoes from the island where I have been spending most of my time ashore.

I was startled by the horns, the trumpets... It must have been an odd spectacle, a man in rags on a raft tending to a tree, with the sun resting on the horizon surrounded in broad sea by colourful canoes full of brightly dressed islanders offering fruit and inviting him to join the celebration.

I tried my best to demonstrate that I please to see them, attempting to balance my gardening tools in one hand and accept enough fruit pieces to be grateful but not so many as to indicate I wanted them to stay and have an island party right there. Perhaps I could have done more, lashed my raft onto their canoes and relaxed. Maybe I should have.

Summer in the tropics

2009-06-15T14:41:00.000-07:00

The rain has stopped, and the sun has transformed this little ocean corner into the kind of seascape that graces postcards and tourist brochures.

I continue to live on my little raft, in fact have pulled it out some distance from the islands around me to ensure that I am not mistaken for a native islander.

Not that this helps of course. Given that I work, in exchange for basic provisions, on one primary island it is no mystery that people consider me to be a resident there.

The people of that island have seen this I think, and have made an effort to assure me that my comings and goings are not monitored, and that taxes, papers, etc. are not required of me. Their effort is somewhat undermined by their habit of monitoring my comings and goings and asking for my papers.

Ah well. It is too nice, under the sky out here, to complain about that too much.

The outlook on life these days:

2009-06-15T07:52:00.000-07:00

Things are very positive!

I feel very productive around the house, and my amazing system for keeping the house cool is maintaining it about 5 degrees cooler inside than out. I am getting various things done in the backyard, and plotting the last and final addition to the front yard:

The backyard projects for the year remain:
Finishing the balcony
Constructing my south-side nook beside the garage
and
Cleaning the garage.

My garage and I have a complicated relationship, not unlike that between cancer and an oncologist. It creates mess on its own (I swear) and I go in and root it out occasionally. Every time I do it gets more organized. Somehow someone (who wasn't me, I swear ;)) left an abandoned car behind the garage which I also need to get hauled away.

If there's time, I'd like to put in some paving stones beside the house in preparation for starting to use my side door instead of my front door, but that is all dependent on getting my eavestroughs done (by a gang of sinister swarthy men) and the other three projects.

I'm in fine shape financially, which is nice, although the last lingering debt still hangs around like BO in a locker room.

I'm also, unfortunately, WAAAAAAAAAAY to busy. The calendar for the next few weeks is as packed as an outdoor pool in a heat-wave. I have the 21st open, and that's very nice. I will try to keep it that way.

I have joined the ranks of the hobo elite, by scrounging and revitalizing a bike trailer, so that I can go and pick up my cat litter on my bicycle. Sadly, I blew a tire on it coming back from the hardware store, so I now need to buy tires and tubes for it.

And that's what's new over here!

Blowing the dust off the blog

2009-06-12T08:20:00.000-07:00

0700, leave the house, cycle 4 kilometres to work with work things
1300, leave work, cycle 4 kilometres to meeting
1450, leave meeting, cycle 2 kilometres to swap work stuff for music stuff.
1500, leave home, cycle 5 kilometres to lessons
1700, leave music, cycle 5 kilometres home, swap for class stuff
1730, leave home, cycle 4 kilometres to class
2130, leave class, cycle 4 kilometres back to home, swap for folk fest stuff
2200, leave home, cycle .5 kilometers to meeting
2400, leave meeting, cycle .5 kilometres home.

Total cargo swaps: 3
Total kilometres: 29
Kilometres cycled while inebriated: .5
Calves: Like iron, thank you very kindly.

EDIT: Sorry, this one was 32 kilometres:
See it here (I'm still learning the tool so bear with me):
06/11/2009 Route
Find more Bike Rides in Edmonton, Alberta

Celebrity fight:

2009-05-25T21:39:00.000-07:00

Who would win a fight between Wendy O. Williams and Courtney Love?

VS

And why have I never heard of Wendy O. Williams before today?

Life reboot:

2009-05-19T10:53:00.000-07:00

Okay, I've been kinda focused on fiction recently, and now I get back to work on my real-life.

I can work on my house and get it entirely ship-shape and get back on schedule with my renos. I need to come up with a formula for WHEN I do major renos, and how I save for them. Shoudl I save up 50% and debt the rest, or should I save 60%, what?

I need to restart my (momdon'treadthis) not-smoking techniques, having fallen intentionally and spectacularly off the wagon this weekend

On a related note, I need to get my menu back under control at home, and get back into a stable routine there and get back into being a good cook, etc.

To come soon: A list of summer projects around the house!

Poor neglected blog

2009-05-07T01:28:00.000-07:00

So my poor little corner of the intartubes is all neglected here, but that's largely as a result of being incrediblyu busy and having tucked my home computer away into the basement.

I've actually hit a period busier than anything I have ever experienced before. Work is frustratingly busy, in that I have a lot of meetings but no product to show for it.

Most pressingly on me at this point is a big theatre event next weekend for which I am missing a large quantity of my props, thanks to the cold cold spring inhibiting my ability to get outside and make them.

Once that is over, I need to put the brakes on everything and reset my domestic routine back to where it should be.

To clarify

2009-04-30T13:24:00.001-07:00

Evolution.

Is not a religious position. You don't 'believe' in it anymore than you 'believe' in gravity.

On that note: You fucking idiots.

The second horseman

2009-04-29T14:14:00.000-07:00

"When he opened the second seal, I heard the second living creature saying, “Come!” Another came forth, a gray horse. To him who sat on it was given power to take health from the earth. There was given to him a great bottle-brush."

The second is Dirty. Now this is a pretty intuitive horseman, as he's more or less universally reviled. He is also very weak.

He lurks in darkness where he cannot be seen, as once he is discovered he is dispatched with energy and discipline (one of those I have!)

There are a number of useful tools against him. Chief among these is a professional cleaner. Go stimulate the economy and hire a cleaning lady. The other I've used a lot of is the micro-whatever cloths. They work especially well on mirrors and glass, where dirt shows up very easily.

This leaves only the last of the horsemen...

The Rebels!

2009-04-23T13:40:00.000-07:00

I was helping prepare a fishing fleet for the spring harvest when I noticed a small group on the dock, watching me work. I recognized them as rebel from the Island. Wishing to be courteous, and knowing I was in no danger, I climbed to the dock to meet with them.

There was something wrong, perhaps they were inebriated, perhaps they were high.. I don't know. Possibly starving, or driven mad by some disease?

In any case, they began to scream at me and throw things at me!

"Thief, liar", they shouted, "how dare you steal from us! You eat meals while our islanders who you promised to feed go hungry! You live on a wonderful raft made by your own hands while our islanders live in squalid huts! When we banished you you promised to return with diamonds and riches to make our island bountiful and to repay what you owed us for years of providing you food and shelter!"

I reached into my pockets, to find what I could to give them in their state

They turned away from me at that, and walked away, shouting back

"You tend the Glade, you are one of us! We ask for nothing! Remember the promises you have made"

I wonder at their purpose...

Rafting

2009-04-21T07:49:00.001-07:00

My poor little raft has shown the signs of being a residence for a little too long, and needs a clean-out, desperately.
As I have spent less time focused on making it seaworthy and being able to survive on it, it has become a little bit dilapidated. I need to spend some time on it and do some simple repairs.

The stormy season is coming, and I need to be sure I can put to sea even in the worst weather and find it sea-worthy

As for the island explorations, I'm finding that most islands, as soon as I go ashore and begin wandering about, begin assuming that I am a citizen. This upsets me, as I don't know yet where I want to settle, and one island in particular has pressured me to fly their flag on my raft, so that my citizenship is well-known.

Death to debt!

2009-04-15T09:14:00.000-07:00

Mwahahaha, I am down to $600 of personal debt (not including mortgage)

Poor neglected blog

2009-04-05T21:11:00.000-07:00

Hi everyone!

Happy Spring! I say so, 'cause I saw geese, and squirrels and ducks on my bike-ride home and didn't have to wear gloves!

Things around the old homestead are busy busy busy! I have a major event on the May Long Weekend that is taking over the house, slowly, and that's also taking over a lot of my time.

The Boy and I are master model train builders at this point, and as a result I have had to learn to solder. I'm not good at it.

Raft update

2009-03-23T08:05:00.000-07:00

I am beginning to find island hopping troublesome. People assume that I am resident on any island they see me on, and this shapes their responses to me. Harbour police expect me to have a passport from whatever island I have just left, and islands I am leaving expect me to return.

Also, I find that I am ignoring the basic laws of the islands I visit. I litter, I eat fruit from market stalls without paying for it... and it isn't until later, out on the sea where I think... what did I just do?

The first horseman

2009-03-04T08:08:00.000-08:00

"And I saw when the Lamb opened one of the seals, and I heard, as it were the noise of thunder, one of the four beasts saying, Come and see
And I saw, and behold a black horse: and he that sat on him had a hood; and a doubter was given unto him: and he went forth bringing darkness, and to conquer."

The first of three horsemen is Dark, the concealer and the preventer of action. He hides the mess, and hides the other horsemen's works from you. Where he is present you cannot detect the works of Dirty and Broken, and they will work in silence.

The first step is to set him back.

Turn on the lights. Look at everything. Look under everything. Look ON everything (blech!).

Another typical way to fight back Dark is to pile everything in one place, and dive into it from the outside. This is particularly effective with children's toys as they are usually the kinds of things that survive being thrown into a pile. It is also effective with kitchens if you have a place to put everything you take out of the cupboards.

Another way to do this is to ensure that you can see all four walls of each room, and the back and bottom of every cupboard, including the fridge.

In my own habitation, I have accomplished this in most rooms. Exceptions are: my closet, my workshop... and my garage. God Help My Garage.

Once you have beaten Dark back, and taken care of the effects wrought by the other two Horsemen, you can again embrace Dark, and should! Without Dark it's very hard to sleep, for one thing. (Emergency Centres also use Dark to keep moods calm and work stress reduced.)

With the cupboards and walls clear, you greatly increase your safety and can move safely about your habitation.

Money!

2009-02-26T11:42:00.000-08:00

I have slain the line of credit! Slain it dead! This leaves about $1300 of miscellaneous dead that needs fixing, but that should not take long. Hopefully sometime this spring.
Because Room-mate has moved out for the spring, and that my deductions have changed, my income is suddenly lower by about $700 a month, but that is quite temporary, and we'll back to full strength very soon. I've not had the first utilities bill yet after Room-mate moved out, but I anticipate that the power usage will be MUCH lower.

I have a quote for my new railing, which will be about $2,250. That's less than it was a year ago, so that's good too! The attic is almost done (I just have to caulk one last window and put a final lick of paint on the railing), then I will turn to doing a cold air return from the attic and second floor to the basement. I think this will make a substantial difference to my heat on those floors. (it'd better!)